I have come to realise that I am good at saying that I have forgiven but in truth, when the hurt has been inflicted, I may never forgive totally.
For one, I don’t think I can ever forgive a friend and his partner 100% for insinuating that I am an unstable person. My friendship with him is still as it was before the allegations came tumbling out but sometimes, I find myself thinking bitterly about what he said.
And in a way, it was also one reason why I never spoke to my ex-boyfriend for a few years after we broke up. His actions and words hurt me and I could never look at him without the flood of memories roaring in my brain. It became easier to just ignore him because he had meant a lot to me and yet had pained me.
But time heals all wounds and I am glad to say that while it can get awkward sometimes, we have talked on those few times we met. He is a special guy, all warm and funny (which was why I liked him) and I do wish him well.
So I guess forgetting is the hardest part of my life and time the most important factor. Hopefully, as I grow older, I will learn to let go more easily.
