Sex? Pish!

Someone made a comment to me recently, that I’ve been posting scandalous things on the blog. For the life of me, I couldn’t figure out why I was being scandalous.

Nekkid bodehs? Don’t have.
Peekaboo cleavage? Ha. HAHAHAHA! Was that a joke? (Note to self: add ‘boob job’ to list of things to do when I turn 40)
Sexy ass? Nope. More like no ass.

And then it hit me: it was all those references to SHAGGING!

But you know, we are MARRIED adults. Goodness, of course we do not engage in frivolous activities like sex! I mean, why shag when you can file your taxes, water the plants, paint your toenails or feed the cats? There are a lot of things that you can do with your time. We are ADULTS after all. Tsk.

We are sensible people with great responsibilities.
Married people don’t have sex, for goodness’ sake.

Don’t believe me? Here is a conversation that Mr Thick and I had recently.

Me: Here, look at this. Are the two lines equally dark?
Him: Hmm. Looks like it.
Me: Okay, I’m ovulating then. We need to have sex. Tonight.
Him: Oh. (pause) Can we have durian first?
Me: Are you mad. Of course not.
Him: Oh. (pause) Can we have durian after then?

So yes, married people DO NOT HAVE SEX.

Now that we have got that cleared up, run along now. Shoo.

We got shot again

Photo by the v awesome Alywin

9 Comments

  1. Ha, corsage beat me to it, but yes, love your writing! You got me laughing out loud with this one!

  2. this post make me chuckle so hard ;-)

  3. found your site at bookjunkie and totally enjoy your writing! be strong girl! people in advertising are usually fighters! ;)

  4. I love it how your hubby has his priorities right. Durians above all else. Lalalala.

  5. Oh yes indeedy, such a keeper, this one is.

  6. HAHAHAHAHA!!! Mel was wondering why I was giggling uncontrollably in front of the computer. So love your writing too. :D

  7. I found your blog through miss ene and wonder why it took me so long to click and check it out. Haha… I can relate to this though I prob haven’t had the guts to put it into writing… 

    Will be catching up on your posts when I relocate to Switzerland.. ;)

  8. Hi Serene and Lady J!
    Lady J – yes well, I blame it on the husband. It’s always his fault. Coincidentally, I just saw your bag post and can I just say that I Love. Your. Bag. Yums.

    Serene – I think I know where your loft is! It’s probably from the same developer as my east end tee hee. I’m so jealous cos it looks so much posher than mine.

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