Mr Thick and I have been talking on and off about having a second child. Well, if you consider me saying, “I WANT ANOTHER BABY NAO” and him going, “Uh huh”, talking. Hmm. That’s quite reflective of how we converse around here, actually, HAHAHA.
Anyway, he would love to have another one and I am definitely looking forward to adding one more to our family. It’s like I can’t help it, there is some chemical or hormone in my brains going BABYBABYBABYOH. I cannot – absolutely CANNOT – look at newborns or even ultrasound photos without tearing and going “AWWWW WANT ONE TOO”.
I just LOVE itty bitty babies so much.
Of course, the driving force behind my desire to have another baby has always been the hope that we can have a daughter. I love baby girls. I love looking and squealing at baby girl things. I want to have mother-daughter conversations the way my own mother and I do. I want to go shopping with my little girl. I want to teach my girl to be enjoy the pretty things in life and still learn to climb trees and letter boxes.
Husband, the practical creature that he is, assures me that the odds of having a girl are 50-50. I tell him that I will love any child of mine but go produce more girl sperm, please. How? I don’t care.
So yes, that’s me and my dream of having a little girl of my own. And so yes, we’ve talked and joked but we have never made any concrete plans.
Then one night, as I sat in the backseat of the car with my babbling little man, something suddenly hit me: if I ever become the mother of two little boys, I would be so, so thrilled.
Besides the fact that yes, I would most definitely adore all my children, it was also a sudden sense of longing and love for this yet-to-be-conceived baby. No matter if the bubs is a boy or girl. Because this baby will complete our family. And this child will make us so, so, so happy. I can live with just one child but nothing would make me happier than to see the little man love his sibling.
And so I guess this means that I am definitely ready to try for another child. My heart is ready to expand and love another again. I am ready to see my heart walking around outside of me again.
I don’t know how this will end up, it may well lead to another WOE IS ME THIS INFERTILITY SHIT saga, or it may surprise us, the way my baby boy surprised us.