Arts & Entertainment

City, no more

Just realised that my favourite TV show in the world, Sex and the City will be airing its final episode today.

This is disaster.

Never before have I felt so emotionally attached to TV characters (well, Channel 8 has crap shows, what can I say?).

I am so excited because it seems that Mr. Big is going to go after Carrie and bring her back into his life after all that they have gone through. Yes! He’s finally gotten over his committment phobia and realised that Carrie is the one for him. And really, Mr. Big is rather a tempting offer. Suave, charming, wealthy, sweet. Compared with the old-fashioned and old Petrovsky, he really is the cream of the crop.

I can’t wait for the finale to play out!

The organised chaos

A Confession

Forgive me, bank account, for I have sinned today.

I actually cabbed around today.

Twice, in fact.

Yes, twice.

It was really my own fault the first time round.

Being dead tired and exhausted the previous night, I overslept in the morning and was thus late for an appointment. Decided to be a responsible person and not get to my appointment too late. Bad choice – I nearly murdered the taxi driver with my own two hands at the end of the ride.

First, that nasty little man drove so slowly that even three-tonne trucks ambled past us. During the whole duration of the journey, the needle of the speedometer did not cross the 60km/h mark at all. Never. Never, ever. Worse, the driver seemed to enjoy trailing buses. He remained in the bus lane throughout most of the journey and the only scenery that I could view in front of the cab was the ridiculously uncreative ads at the back of buses. If the windows had been wound down, I probably would have died of carbon dioxide poisoning from the exhaust fumes of the buses.

And speaking of fumes, that man seemed to have no concept of temperature. The sun was shining high up in the sky and it was hot and humid. But no, that nasty little man did not seem to notice the heat and the air-conditioning remained at that uncomfortable neither-cool-nor-warm temperature.

Then, nasty little man made a wrong turn which got my sense of direction all mixed up and confused. Not only did he not apologize, he had the cheek to dump the blame on me.

“You should have told me not to turn,” said the nasty little man.

*BAMMMM* went my imaginary fist into his nasty little face.

Later that evening, I went out with my friends after practice. It was all quite fun, us sitting around and playing with digital cameras (theirs, not mine). I got a little bored and asked if we were going anywhere after that.

“We’re playing mahjong,” came the reply. I was incredulous – there were eight of us there and mahjong is for like, four people? I figured he was just irritating me for the fun of it.

Fast forward to midnight. We were out of the joint and deciding where to go. As usual, the whole gang of us just hung around and got sidetracked by things like limbo rock and Pepsi-cola-1-2-3 (a game). Twenty minutes later, someone asked, “So how now?”

And the answer came, “Mahjong.”

I am not very good at mahjong and I do not think that my friends would be very happy with me if I played since I would be a terribly slow player. The others who don’t play had already gone off.

I did not want to spoil their night and decided to go off home. And hence, cab number two of the day, which cost me $20.

Now, I am merely a poor student. As it is, my bank account is being depleted due to lack of income and tonnes of bills to pay and books to buy. I did not even want to waste money at the expensive eating joint that we were at.

It was probably my own fault for not believing it when they said they were playing mahjong. If only I had taken the train home earlier and saved that $20.

I’m sorry, bank account.

I promise I will be good for the next few weeks. If need be, I’ll starve. *sobs*

The organised chaos

Once again…

Nothing lasts forever
Nothing remains evergreen
Nothing that time cannot sever
Nothing is what it seems

With the passing of time
Comes the changes of the mind
With each and every clock chime
Is a reminder of what I have left behind

Love will grow old
Love will fade
The chambers of my heart grow cold
With all the broken promises you made

The past is always there
Never to be forgotten
Thinking back on happy times shared
And all the lessons learned

You are gone from my life
Never will be mine again
Torn apart by all the strife
Leaving shredded hearts riven

— 14th March 1997

Oh, the pain of being in love at 16. *grin*

The organised chaos

Mysteries of youth

Went through some of my stuff over the weekend and tossed out two big bags of things which I had kept out of sentimental reasons. Well, it’s not that I am unsentimental now but some things are just not worth keeping. Found some of the old poems that I used to pen when I was in secondary school, very angsty and pain-ridden. Can’t blame me, I had fancied myself a melancholic and depressed poet.

Here’s one poem I wrote when I was 15 or 16.

Apart,
Torn by our pain
Without any courage
To talk things through

Alone,
Crying hard inside
Too isolated and tired
to put up a fight

Away,
All faith vanishing
This struggle against tears
I can no longer win

Aloud,
I mourn my love
Buried deep down
In my heart’s hearth

Everything Else

Me and my Shadow

Nothing much to update here.

Between bouts of lows and stomach upsets (suspect I have lost a couple of kilos last week due to fact that I ate 1/5 of what I normally eat a day for one whole week – my top was flappy today and I nearly died of heart attack upon seeing my spaghetti-strap-topped body in mirror), you can pretty much say that I am living the life of characters from The House Of The Dead.

Anyway.

Been reading an intriguing book entitled Life. An Enigma, a Precious Jewel which can be found here.

It’s an English translation of a Japanese book on the meaning of life, I admit that a lot of its theories, drawn from philosophers ranging from Kant to Mill, are lost on me but as I persist in reading, I find its analysis logical and mystifying at the same time. Is that possible? Is such a contradiction ever possible? But then again, life is something that is intangible and yet it inhabits a body so real and prone to damage and decay.

I saw meaning in a certain part of the book and want to share it with my friends who drop by here occasionally. It is an analogy used to illustrate the symbiotic relationship between human beings and the universe.

“The body moves and transforms the shadow, but at the same time, the body is in a sense created by the shadow, for the body would not be a body if it did not cast a shadow. In other words, the body is given being and identity by the environment and vice versa.”

Almost makes me want to say “Amen” but somehow, it’s not really appropriate, is it?

The organised chaos

Drug Overdose

Apparently, one pill of Valium is more than enough for me.
Even though it was only 5mg.
My mum takes only a quarter tablet and it seems that for a person my size, half a pill is more than enough.

No wonder it worked so fast and was so effective. I was awaken twice and fell back asleep instantly.