Friends, The organised chaos

The choice of happiness

Recently, I had two very similar conversations with two girlfriends regarding their relationships. One has been with her boyfriend for almost two years while the other is barely four months into her relationship. What struck a chord in me was that both did not seem satisfied with what they had and yet, for various reasons, are not willing to look beyond the horizons for something that might make them feel more complete.

The first one reminds me of an article from the Washington Times that I had received in an email recently. The article talks of how some people in the world are “maximizers” – people who constantly look for the best in whatever they seek – and “satisficers”, who are those who seek the “good enough” options and not the best.

My friend is a satisficer. She loves her boyfriend, but not as much as she feels she should. She wonders if this is the best that she can have and if Mr. Right is actually out there waiting for her. Her current boyfriend adores her and for this reason alone, she is staying with him because, as she says, “having a man who loves you more than you love him is a safe choice”. She is tired of having to go out onto the circuit and getting burnt again. Hence, although she fears that she might be shortchanging him in terms of the amount of love that she can offer him, she is staying put.

The second one, on the other hand, feels that she cannot connect with her current boyfriend as well as she did with her previous beau. Her current, she says, can’t stimulate her intellectually and their conversations are often stilted and limited. She knows that comparisons are useless, afterall the previous let her down badly, and yet she cannot help but wonder if there are men who are better suited to her out there. In her case, she is sticking to her man because she would rather give it a shot first before condemning this relationship to the rubbish bin.

After hearing all these, it really makes me wonder: Why is the search for love so tedious? Is there really someone in this world for everyone? And does it mean that if we had thought that someone is Mr. Right but it didn’t work out, he was actually Mr. Wrong and the real Mr. Right is out there lurking somewhere?

In a way, I can empathise with my girlfriends. After going through all the s*** that the world has to offer you, sometimes all you need is a pair of loving arms to hold and comfort you. Even if that sounds selfish, you are willing to forego the endless search for Mr. Right because, afterall, there is already someone who is there for you in good times and bad. There really is nothing wrong with being “satisficers”, unless you cannot reconcile the psychological dissonance and are left constantly questioning “what if?”

Will we ever, then, be contented with what we have? Or will the choices in our lives make us question the value of what we have? Perhaps this columnist, writing in The Straits Times, got it right when he says that happiness is not about the better things that you can get in life but “the most efficacious way to gain happiness today is for people to focus on the present”.

Leave the future to unfold in the future and live in the present, is what I have learnt.

As for my girlfriends, should they decide to continue their search for Mr. Right, I will applaud their bravery to leave behind the comfort zone and do what they believe is right. And if they should remain committed to their partners, I support their efforts in keeping their relationships alive.

Foodnotes, Friends

PIG continued…..

Well well, apparently the Big Eating Adventure on Friday night is still unfinished so I shall continue it here.

After stuffing my face full on Friday, I went home and slept soundly like a pig from 2am to 2pm. Of course, I ended up being late for sectionals and D that rude woman threatened to demote me to the sourSOPranos section. *shudder*

Anyway, as I was putting on my favourite Levi’s 593 jeans to make my way to Siglap, I realised that a miracle had happened. My jeans actually felt tighter! Oh, how brilliant! And when I mentioned it to D, she took a look and agreed with me. Am so going to pig out on Friday nights from now on. Anyone care to join me?

But that’s not all. Went for dinner and shared the super-oily kway tiao goreng pattaya with my sala “boyfriend” (haha, loserly Zhan did not know that nasi pattaya and nasi goreng pattaya are the same thing). And after practice, we went off to Plaza Singapura and guess what we did? We ate again! Went to the tiny Lips Bistro and munched on chicken cutlet(s), mushroom soup(s), potato wedges and brownie.

Oh what a lovely way to spend the weekend (better than ironing, haha).

Am totally satisfied.

Foodnotes, The organised chaos

I am a PIG.

This is so totally going against the previous entry but what the heck.


How do I get fat? Let me count the ways.

  • Prawn paste chicken with rice
  • Or Luak
  • Cai tau kway
  • Satay
  • Rojak
  • Ice jelly
  • Longan drink
  • Crumble Cheese Cake (or whatever you call it)
  • Oreo cheesecake
  • Citrus cheesecake
  • Sugarcane juice
  • I am so going to explode. Hee. It’s oh so sinful but hey, I haven’t binged on hawker fare for so long! What’s a girl going to do when faced with such sumptuous meal? And with such great company?


    Let me just crawl off my chair onto my bed now.

    Arts & Entertainment

    My Girl

    Just caught the really sweet Thai movie, My Girl, also known as Fan Chan in its native language. It’s about the memories of Jeab, a young man currently living in Bangkok, and his childhood sweetheart, Noi Nah.

    Without going too much into details (since some of you have not watched it yet), one reason why I enjoyed the film so much is because of the way the directors reined in the cliches. With nostalgic films like this, it can be easy for the directors to pile on the emotional tricks to elicit reactions from the audience. Here, they managed to keep the show light and poignant without being overly dramatic.

    Plus, I felt that the show captured the essence of that era beautifully. The props, the setting, the lighting all contributed to the laidback and easygoing feel of the past.

    It also helps that the show’s cast was wonderful. The two protagonists, Focus Jeerakul (as the girlish Noi Nah) and Chalee Thirat (as the scrawny Jeab) had such rapport and chemistry with one another, expressing the nuances of childish afffections with such sensitivity. The bully Jack, played by a towering Chelimpan Thikhampontheerawong, was such a hoot.

    All in all, I would give this feel good movie 4.5 stars out of 5.

    The organised chaos

    These Depressing Times

    Was reading Avantgo on my way to school this morning when I felt overcome with dread. Some of my subscriptions include The New York Times and BBC News and this morning, at 7.30am, I was reading about the shock that was echoing across Europe following the train bombing in Spain.

    It wasn’t the kind of news that one should read so early in the morning because you will end up having a sinking feeling in your stomach. Indignation, helplessness, fear….these thoughts and more ran through my mind. Indignation for the loss of innocent lives, civilians who did nothing wrong but happened to be at the wrong place at the wrong time. Helplessness at the thought of terrorism, this sick evil pervading our everyday lives and yet we can do nothing about it. Fear that one day, despite the government’s best efforts, this evil will reach us and destroy our lives as it did others.

    I can never understand why there are people in this world who take such perverted delight in destruction. Surely, no matter which religion you believe in, the gods will never advocate the taking of innocent lives? Surely lives are deemed precious and no human should have the right to decide who is to live and who is to die (except in cases of crime and punishment)?

    And when I read about how Palestinians celebrated the deaths of two Palestinian suicide bombers who died while trying to blow up Israelis, I felt sickened. A celebration of death sounds paradoxical, irrational. These people have lived in unrest for so long that peace is alien to them, that they derive comfort and relief from death.

    Sometimes, I feel ashamed of myself. As I am shopping and buying unnecessary pieces of clothing and accessories, there are people out there who live with real threats and fears. And here I am, blatantly indulging myself and giving in to materialism. Perhaps I am too spoilt for my own good.

    Life is so short. Tomorrow, I might be lying in a pile of rubble in the midst of a carnage created by racial extremists who decided to bomb the train that I am in. Who knows?


    Sunset Boulevard

    I’m on a roll here so here are more pictures.
    Was at Sentosa on Friday evening and had the chance to observe and photograph a lovely sunset, reminiscent of Hawaii.
    So am going to pretend that I was at some exotic island in the Caribbean rather than Sentosa.


    I have stupid friends…..

    …..and that’s why I love them!

    Because we can all do stupid things together.

    Below are two cases in point:

    Kissing Gurami

    Nearly puked out my dinner when I saw this picture. Somehow not surprising, coming from this pair of idiotic best friends.

    Indian Dance

    That’s D and I attempting to look like Indian dancers. We actually look pretty good, don’t we?


    Happy Birthday!

    Am extremely pleased this weekend because two of my pals are celebrating their birthdays! Both exceptional members of the pathetic Singaporean Male species, they have been wonderful friends and are the shining light of their species.

    So here’s wishing them happy 26th and 21st birthdays respectively!




    Wedding bells a’ringing

    I received the loveliest surprise today – my JC classmate, Kei, is actually getting married this coming December!
    Well, technically, she is already married, having ROM-ed last year. And she is moving into her new place this week. I am so happy for her!

    A little background on our friendship: we were classmates during JC and were part of a group of crazy slackers. We used to get so surprised at seeing each other during lessons because those events were rare. Both of us belonged to the breed of students who didn’t believe in travelling for something as miserable as lessons. Somehow, when she was in school, I wasn’t and vice versa. The likelihood of us turning up for classes together were made even smaller as we only shared one common subject in our second year.

    But I always had a great time with Kei. We usually enjoyed doing silly things together. There was this inane conversation that we used to have about going to the loo and it goes like this –

    Me: I want to go to the T
    Kei: Because I want to pee
    Me & Kei: So let’s go to the T to pee!
    Cue guffaws

    Totally ridiculous but hey, we were only 17/18.
    And now we are 23 and she’s married. How time flies! Admittedly, we both lost touch for the past four years since graduating from JC but somehow, it still feels great to talk to her. There was no awkwardness and everything was just so natural.

    I am so happy for her and Bernard. They are just so sweet together. She used to tell me that they never fought because they just couldn’t be bother to lose their temper and both being easygoing people, were able to give in to each other. And for her birthday once (or some occasion like that), he acually bought her her own microphone (Kei is a singer). They are that sweet.

    Am totally looking forward to their wedding in December! Whee!


    To Dawna and Xuhao

    I am typing this in the comfort of my room. One hitch though – a stupid beetle is buzzing around me and I am living in mortal fear that the stupid insect will head straight for my face. I beat around me desperately, trying to dissuade it from smacking me in the face (these things are hard – I once had one on the back of my shirt and when I laid in my soft and cosy bed, it actually poked me and it hurt).

    Anyway, the main point of this is not about annoying beetles but a mini tribute (sort of) to two of my close friends – Dawn and Joker. Now, I’ve known them since my JC days and we’ve really come a long way. Dawn is like a best friend to me and Joker is like a brother (but when quizzed, he’ll probably say that we’re not close but just okay, haha). As their perpetual third wheel (I get asked rudely to haul my ass out of his car but naturally, I don’t), I have had the chance to observe this pair of halflings at work.

    Theirs is a story that many thought was predictable. Afterall, how many relationships that began in JC actually last? But they proved the cynics wrong and they seemed to grow stronger as a couple over the years.

    They are both independent people and not the clingy, obssessive type. They give each other space and yet enjoy each other’s company whenever they can. They share laughs together and don’t mind doing silly things. They are open with each other and share their opinions, not expecting the other party to change. They accept each other wholeheartedly and willingly. Best of all, they are not the exclusive kind of couple who make you feel like you are invisible (therefore, uncomfortable) whenever you are in their presence (that’s why I like to hang out with them).

    I know that they are not the perfect couple and frankly, the perfect couple would be a bit boring. But I am really proud of them and I am happy that they have beaten the odds and stayed together for so long (and probably will for the rest of their lives). In fact, I would probably be the happiest person after their parents at their wedding**. Why, I might even cry.

    They have shown me that it takes effort on both parties’ part to maintain a relationship and I am glad that they have done it. When disgusted with hypocritical Singaporean men (or man), I only have to look at them and believe that all is not lost yet.

    I want to thank them both for their loving friendship and for showing me what love really is. I love you guys! *hugs*

    **PS Does it mean that I will get an angpow of $8,888 at your wedding??