Arts & Entertainment, Friends

Lazy days no more

Wow.

The past week has just been incredible.

Am still trying to come to terms with my unemployed status and the fact that I am not a student anymore. But it just feels like a big holiday to me, and I feel as if I am going back to school come July.

Kill Bill on his 50 First Dates

After our last paper on Tuesday, I was overcome with a mix of emotions that I could not identify. It’s not anything that I have felt before. Sure, we all have taken our last papers in schools before but this time, it’s for real. No longer can I hide under the shelter of being a student, it’s time to face the big bad world out there.

But thankfully, the romantic comedy 50 First Dates helped me regain some of my sanity. It was hilarious and I have to say, Rob Schneider is such a gem. Laughter rang out throughout the theatre every time he appeared on the screen.

I must make a confession here – I cried during the movie. I know, the show totally lacks social realism but hey, which girl wouldn’t want to have a man like Henry Roth who tries to damn hard to win the love of his loved one everyday?

Since we were all a little crazy that day, we decided to do an excitation transfer and indulge in another movie – Kill Bill Vol. 2. It was such a masterpiece – Quentin Tarantino is brilliant. Pai Mei made me giggle madly, especially in the way he smirks and flicks his silly white beard. The ending was a little unexpected and as a reviewer mentioned, ultimately the show seems like a chick flick. Not going to say more here in case there are those who haven’t watched it yet but hey, it’s a must-watch!

“Do it” at Wala-wala

Chalked up fun points yesterday. Hee.

The day started sleepily enough, since I had to go to school to hand up my GE reviews. Mr Stead was a sweetie, as always, and he enthused about our writing so much so that I felt much better about the crap that I had churned out the night before.

After that, caught the guffaw-inducing Starsky & Hutch with the guys. I loved the show, especially Ben Stiller! Have a thing for retro stuff and the show just rocks. Huggy Bear! The cars, the music and the props……awesome. The appearance of the original Starsky & Hutch at the end was such a nice touch.

Went shopping for toy guns/swords (“schwingggg!”) for tonight’s party after that. Some smarty pants happily bought masks, only to realise that they can’t wear them cos they wear spectacles. Hohoho, Merry Christmas.

Headed down to Wala-wala after that (pics here) and after the initial cooling down (I was darn tired and beer doesn’t help), it was back to crappy times again! And as usual, the klutz struck again and she cleverly spilt beer all over Kenny (sorry!). Sigh. When will the girl ever learn to be more glamorous? No wonder she is of a buddy more than a girl.

Okiez, think it’s timeout for me now. Need to ransack the wardrobe for some ideas on which murderous character to go as for tonight’s party, hee. I shall end off with the best advice I have heard in the last two days,

“Do it!!”

The organised chaos

The female buddy

There are girls. And there are girls.

But not all girls are seen as girls by the boys.

To boys, these girls are their friends, almost one-of-their own. In short, they see these girls are not really girls. These girls are buddies.

Buddies are different from girls. Girls are chicks that they desire. As girls walk by them, swishing their skirts, boys turn their heads and think to themselves, here’s somebody I want to date. They glance admiringly at girls and those who are either courageous or desperate enough will actually try to make the transition from being “friends” to being in love. If not, they resign themselves to gazing from afar, enjoying the sweet torment of their longing.

When it comes to buddies, things get a little simpler. Buddies are buddies. They hang out together. They sit around and drink beer and talk whatever nonsense that buddies talk about. They watch soccer matches together and cheer/curse loudly, depending on the situation at hand. They go for movies together and laugh simultaneously at the rude jokes. They don’t bother with dressing up with one another – afterall, they are buddies.

Sometimes, I think I belong to the latter category of girls. Among all my male friends, I am a buddy. We enjoy one another’s company. We make fun of one another. We end up doing and saying stupid things because hey, that’s what buddies do. We are not afraid of embarrassing ourselves in front of one another. Sometimes, things get a bit adventurous and we might end up at the old Changi Hospital looking for ghosts and then going for prata.

I enjoy being buddies with them. It’s always a lot of fun being part of the group. But sometimes, I just wonder if that’s how people see me.

Just a buddy.

The organised chaos

A chapter closes

Today is the last day that I can officially call myself a student.

Yes, after four eventful long years, I have finally taken the last paper of my life. I have the blister on my thumb to prove that I tried to go out with a bang. But as usual, silly me did not finish the paper again. Hee.

Well, what can I say? It’s been a damn long four years. So much has happened since the day I stepped into CS (one week later than everyone else as I was in Austria for Choir Olympics). I went in there as an naive, 19-year-old girl with a boyfriend, and emerged as a slightly battle-worn 23-year-old single gal. And I find that I like it better this way.

I know it sounds weird, who would prefer to go through a breakup? But now as I look back, I know that it’s probably the best thing that has happened to me in these four years. And I am glad that it did.

These past four months went by so fast that I can hardly believe it. In many ways, I wish that they could be longer, that I can have the chance to live 36-hour days rather than the short and bittersweet 24.

This semester has been life-altering in many ways. Got to know acquaintances better, got to know me better, got to know who the people who will be there for me when I am down. If I had a chance to relive the past four years, I definitely would.

So many memories, so many “what ifs”, so many “if onlys”. But it’s all over. This chapter is now closed. Officially.

How do I feel then?

I don’t know. Think I will probably find out later, once I have had my needed dose of sleep (after moving my desk around, I am kinda tired).

Little Miss Shopaholic, The organised chaos

There she goes…

…falling flat onto her face.

Yes, that’s me

I, Queen of Klutzes, Mistress of Shopping, Princess of Imagination. I fell flat on my face today, landing right at the feet of an idiotic Engineering geek. Who did not help me up (that bas****). Who merely grinned amusedly at me. Damnit, why couldn’t I at least have the dignity of tripping in front of a cute and chivalrous dude?

As I am typing this now, I am making small, whining noises, appalled at the pain that my kneecaps are giving me and the humiliation of it all.

So my only conclusion is that I am Becky Bloomwood and Bridget Jones combined….without the men. Committing faux pas everywhere I go. Being the source of people’s amusement at every occasion. Sees people walking towards me carrying Mango shopping bags during sales and go berserk, obsessing that they bought things which I like and actually fit me. Whine constantly to my (sometimes gay) friends. Need to develop inner poise (and stop doing unglamorous things like falling flat on my face).

Sigh. I need a Luke Brandon or a Mark Darcy. Or both.

I have discovered that I have a forte for not completing my exams. Did that for Media Law and Ethics, did that today for Psychology of Communication. Goodbye 40 marks! Hello unemployment!

The organised chaos

Good Morning, Singapore

Overslept this morning again. Had my alarm set at 8.30am but somehow when I opened my eyes, the clock showed 11.00am. Oh blast.

Spent what’s left of the morning reading the newspapers and came away feeling rather disturbed and sad.

The news that took centerstage at The Straits Times today is that of the Nicoll Highway tragedy. Due to fears that the wreckage would collapse, SCDF has decided to call off the search for the body of the last missing man.

The Grim Reaper has reared his ugly head here, leaving pain and distress in his wake. There is a sense of bitter irony working here – the family of the missing man needs his body to provide closure to the trauma that they have gone through for the past few days. And yet, to gain such psychological comfort, it would mean endangering the lives of many other Singaporeans, who have risked life and limb just to do that for them. In the end, the decision was made to call off the search. The family might not be able to accept the decision but ultimately, they have to resign themselves to the fact that they now have to obtain closure in other ways.

I admire the family members of the dead for their courage. Courage in sharing their grief with the rest of the nation, courage in the dignified ways that they have held themselves under the scrutiny, courage in their acceptance of the accident.

Another perturbing piece of news was that this website has, in the name of journalism, published a series of photographs showing the remains of dead American soldiers arriving home. Subsequently, many other mainstream news organisations also published the pictures, as detailed by The New York Times (registration needed).

According to the article, news organisations have criticised the Pentagon for limiting information about the dead soldiers in their bid to conceal negative publicity about the war in Iraq. And yes, press freedom is important to the journalists, as evident in their First Amendment. But obviously the good people at the site did not employ the Potter Box in making their decision to run the photos. And equally obvious is the fact that they have not heard of Rawls’ and his Veil of Ignorance, or the Agape principle (yes, I have not wasted my four years of university education).

Do the families of the dead soldiers need to see the pictures splashed on their newspapers in such a manner? Sure, it’s woefully ridiculous that they do not get to see the bodies of their loved ones being brought home to them. But does the act of running these pictures provide any sense of closure? I don’t think so.

The organised chaos

Trip Down Memory Lane

Was supposed to be studying today. Afterall, I am due to start my final lap round the institution called academia on Thursday. But somehow, inertia set in and I found myself doing anything but study – re-reading The Lord of the Rings’ The Fellowship of the Ring, playing games on my baby and sorting out my old photographs taken long before digital cameras were popular.

Discovered some old albums whose existence I had forgotten about.

Some elicited smiles and chuckles, like those taken during 1999’s Symphony of Voices, 1999 Singapore Youth Festival’s Grand Finals (where we were defeated rather unfairly by Singapore’s elite students), 1999’s trip to Germany, TSD’s public performances (both prelims and A’Levels pieces) also in 1999.

I remember the day of the SYF competition. After the results were made known, I was in shock and could not stem the flow of tears down my cheeks. Perf and I went mad during the walk to supper, we were yelling and laughing madly along the way. Some genius took a photo of that.

I remember our trip to Germany. It had been cold and someone was there to warm my hands. We used to joke about getting married at the age of 30 if we were still single by then. At 18, the thought sounded preposterous – afterall, 30 was still a long way to go. And now, we are already approaching the wrong end of the glorious 20s.

I remember my A’levels piece for TSD. Everyone was against us going to Germany in early June when our practical exams were in late June. But we did anyway and went on to produce the best piece of our lives. The detractors had to eat their words when we became the only group where everyone had an A for A’Levels and where the examiner had nothing to criticise about. That remains the achievement that I am singularly most proud of.

And now I am 23. What have I done for myself thus far?

As a product of a single-parent and financially-challenged family, I am proud of myself. I have come this far on my own two feet. I have weathered through storms that most of my peers aren’t even aware of.

And I am glad.

PS Apparently our performance in SOV 99 is on the web, with our songs available for download in MP3 or ASF format.

Everything Else

Stuck in this moment

Life is all about balance.

There are good days. And then, there are bad days.

And today is not a good day.

Maybe it’s because I have had only four hours of sleep.

Maybe it’s because I feel taken granted for.

Maybe it’s because I am tired, in more than one way.

Maybe it’s because sometimes, I just wish people could just see me for me.

Maybe it’s because I wish someone could hug me and tell me that I am doing a decent job.

Maybe it’s because the joke is on me now, leaving behind a thorn in my side.

Maybe later will be better.