I am vain.
I love clothes. And shoes. And bags. And lip gloss. And shiny hair.
I spend way too much on things I don’t need but covet desperately.
But I accept that this is a universal maxim – you are woman, therefore you are vain.
It’s almost as if women are meant to be vain and particular about the way they look. It’s become a social norm, a convention, a rule.
You’d be grateful if they wash their faces with facial cleanser instead of shampoo and wear matching socks.
Well, not anymore.
The way ST looks at it, men are increasingly taking more care of their appearances, sometimes even rivaling the girls.
It’s a social horror movie acting out in front of my very eyes.
On the one hand, I wouldn’t want my man to look like he hasn’t bathed for 10 days and wears polo tees tucked into his tightly-cinched jeans, complete with NS sports shoes. No no no.
But on the other hand, I wouldn’t want him to paint his nails, wear diamonds on his earlobes (give them to me instead) and spend hundreds of dollars on shopping every month (spend them on me!), let alone go for manicures, pedicures and facials.
Would any girl actually want to date a man who is as vain as, if not more, herself?
The fear of rejection would be too great, the feeling of not meeting up to expectations would suffocate.
Hence, it comes as a (comic) relief when a conversation with a male friend, who wishes to remain anonymous, yields the following (in his actual words):
“This is shopping, the male way.
1. Shoes got hole in the sole. Think to myself: ok I need new shoes. Think: ok Bugis got sale. Target: go Bugis.
2. Computer at work got problem needs time to fix. Think: ok better go Bugis today since got excuse to leave early – buy my shoes before sale over.
3. Go Bugis. Head straight for the shoe section. Try out one shoe. Ok not bad. Try out another shoe. ok comfortable. Ok BUY. Time taken: 10 mins from the time I entered the Seiyu.
4. Ok need socks. Head for sock section. Get socks. Buy. Time taken: 5 mins.
5. Think: ok I’m outdoors. Let’s get all my grocery sh** done at one go so I dun have to buy any stuff for weeks. Head to Carrefour. Grab shopping trolley.
6. Buy longlasting groceries like milk powder, big tin of milo etc. Shampoo, toothbrush etc. Weighs a ton. Take taxi. Go home.
Time spent: 3 hours. Money spent: $230″
Bravo, here’s a true Singaporean man!
He needs a girlfriend.