The “little women” of Singapore

Ah, so it seems that the great big debate over Singaporean women (SW) being too “demanding” has started again.

If you have flipped through yesterday’s Straits Times, you would have undoubtedly read this letter, Time for Singapore girl to play the ‘little woman’ in the Forum (registration needed). What made it more interesting than your run-of-the-mill SW bashing is that it was written by a member of the fairer sex.

The news of the past two weeks confirmed the latter for me: Young 20-something men going to Bintan for cheap sex; 30-something men going to Vietnam for quick marriages. What is going on here?

What really is going here is that firstly, these men are horny and secondly, they are horny cheapskates. Because the SW are smart enough not to want to sleep with them, they have to resort to alternative sources of pleasure. And since they obviously do not wish to pay a premium on something that they crave but are not getting, they have to “outsource” their needs to foreigners. Which, tragically, proves that the SW are right in not wanting to sleep with them.

‘China girls are so pretty and have lower expectations,’ said one. Added the other: ‘Singapore girls are too demanding, they have a long list of expectations.’

Before the 22-year-old friends that the writer has go mouthing off the SW, they should take a good look at themselves. In fact, all men who complain and whine about the SW should examine themselves closely in the mirror before making such sweeping statements. With such self-righteous claims, aren’t these men being demanding themselves? I’d like to believe that being “demanding” is a sign that the SW are discerning and have impeccable taste. As with everything else, the key here is moderation – as much as we should not ask for the sky, we should not settle for anything that is less than palatable either.

Not for this girl are soft, barely audible replies. The Singapore girl debates and argues impassionedly. She wants to win at all costs and treats her love conquests like those fought in the office arena. She may be pretty, yes, smart, yes, but, oh, so demanding.

The Singaporean society is one that is supposedly based on meritocracy. Whoever performs, regardless of race, gender or religion, will get to move on ahead faster than his/her peers. Being born and bred Singaporean means that you have to work hard and fight tough in order to progress. Man or woman, we are trained to maximise our potential in as many ways as we can. In this society, everyone is more or less equal in terms of academic opportunities and intelligence. Hence, it’s not really that much of a surprise that women tend to be feisty fighters in life, rather than the “simple, gentle and hardworking” Vietnamese girls that the writer described.

I’d like to think that this is a modern society, where men and women both relish their independence and individuality. I also believe, and hope, that majority of the Singaporean men enjoy the fact that the SW are not a quiet and timid beings, who nod at their every command and pander to their every whim.

If I were not the sharp-tongued, sassy girl that I am, if I did not enjoy beautiful things in life, if I were merely a “docile, giggly girlfriend”, I do not think the boyfriend would have been so attracted to me in the first place. He shells my prawns for me (I’m lazy), goes shopping with and picks out clothes for me (he has good taste) and chauffeurs me around whenever he can (he’s considerate). Does that make me a demanding girlfriend? No, for I do not ask for all these to be done for me. The fact that he does all these and more on his own accord makes me cherish and love him more.

Come on, give the SW a break.
After years of oppression under the yoke of men, it’s time we finally stand up for ourselves.

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Charm Attack from the album “Comatised” by Leona Naess