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What the boss said

All true, spoken during a dreadfully long meeting of one and a half hours, discussing strategic 2005 plans for one of our clients.

Our client XX could launch a new “Care for Babies” programme for Indonesian maids. Back in their hometown, they have 20 babies and don’t have the time to take care of them. So they leave them in the field and ignore them when they cry. Even if they die, nevermind, tomorrow the parents can still pop out another baby. But it’s different in Singapore. The maids don’t realise that there are only two or three babies in each family and so our babies are precious. That’s why you have cases of the maids tossing the babies out of the windows.

and then,

Many maids are very young, they don’t know how to take care of babies. That’s why they get stressed out and start throwing the babies out of the windows, or burn their employers to death.

followed by

Sri Lankans are an important group of consumers, which the advertising agency had failed to identify. I want you to talk to the construction workers, to find out where they like to go, what they like to do and which media they use.

which led to

Record the Vasantham Central show, watch it and tell me what it is about.

finally,

See if we can get (a remittance company) to let Singaporeans donate money to the Singapore Red Cross for free.

Back when I first applied for the job, they didn’t tell me that I had to be a cunning linguist.