Was at a business lunch with my editorial team and some PR associates when we started talking about weddings. As three out of the total seven present were married, it wasn’t too difficult to talk about marriages and such. Seeing that P, the companion next to me was not wearing her wedding ring, I casually asked why. She explained that she had a habit of playing with her ring (like me) and had a tendency to take it out for no rhyme or reason (like me). Hence, she decided not to wear her ring at all, in case she lost it.
“But men must wear their wedding rings,” my editor quipped suddenly. P nodded her head in agreement, and said, “Yes, I told my husband that since I am always talking about my family, my son, it makes no difference if I am wearing a ring or not. But it’s different for men.”
The implication is that men, without their rings, could easily be mistaken as single men, which makes them prime cuts of meat. It also indicates that women are more open to talking about their husbands and children, as opposed to men. It got me wondering if it’s just a stereotype that married men act as if they are single, and if it means that women typically are more insecure than men.
Maybe it’s just that (Singaporean) men are not as used to being vocal about their emotions and feelings. Anecdotally, I seldom read entries written by male bloggers that are of their relationships and families. Pop over to a woman’s site and the references are all over. But that’s just an anecdotal, unqualified hypothesis.
But outside of the blogosphere, there are men who are just not terribly adept at expressing themselves, which makes me question why. Is it an Asian thing, the way we were brought up?
Why, then, are women so uptight about their men showcasing their marital status? Is it a standards thing? Like if I can tell the world that I have a boyfriend/husband, then my boyfriend/husband should be able to do the same too. But given that most men lack the vocal dexterity to do that, a ring as a signifier is the next best thing then.
As for me, I like men who have simple wedding bands around their fourth finger. It’s superficial but the message it sends out to me is, I love my wife and I like carrying a symbol of our marriage with me always. And that, to me, is sexy.