Viva Las Vegas (Prelude)

Two days from now, yours truly will be an international blogger as I go on a not-so-secret mission to recce for our nation’s integrated resorts at the birthplace of casinos – Sin City AKA Las Vegas.


Will be there for work and am expected to fall asleep at the various keynotes and conferences that I have to attend. But it’s all in the name of work so I can’t really complain. Anyway, it will be rather exciting to hear some of the most brilliant minds in the tech industry – CEOs, CIOs – speak and share their ideas and visions. Besides, the vendor has been kind enough to put me onboard a non-stop flight to Los Angeles in the business class. Thank the heavens, no crampy Economy class cages to put me in danger from DVT.

But the highlight of the trip has to be the resort that I am staying in, Wynn Las Vegas. It’s brand new, having just opened its doors to visitors and guests on April 28 and it is apparently absofrigginglutely swanky and gorgeous. According to Str^^ts T^mes (front page of the World section, no links because I no money to subscribe to the online edition), people actually queued up for four hours just to get inside the hotel to take a look.

Wow. Plus, I will get to meet Steve Wynn himself in person! You know, if his plans for Singapore’s IR is anything like Wynn Las Vegas, I certainly hope that he wynns the tender (yes, pun intended).

I have done my research well (there are three factory outlets, LMS will be pleased) and have finally booked that hotel room for the extra night. Watch this space for more snippets and photos!

The organised chaos

How to get your boyfriend to lose weight

I am the expert in such matters.
No, I am the expert in such matters.
After five long years, I have, more or less, become the mistress of forceful poking and gentle persuasion. Just don’t ask me for the results. Ask him.

1. Make a bet with him
See, all men hate losing. When they play Halo2, they must kill their enemies with all sorts of violent methods. As if that is not enough, they must kill their enemies five times within a game. And that is still not enough. They must capture the enemies’ flag or gain the hill (whatever that means). In soccer, they writhe and dodge just so they can finally put the damn ball into the back of the opponents’ net. Then, they will chop your ankles between their studded soccer boots so that you cannot put the ball into the back of their nets.

My point is, make a bet with him that he cannot refuse and he will try his best to win. Especially when winning benefits him both ways.

2. Be subtle
That means that openly screaming “you fat bastard!” in the middle of Orchard Road is a no-no. Neither is thrusting the Annan or Expressions advertisements into his face allowed. Do not shove and nudge him every time the two of you walk past a slimming salon. When his Halo character tries to jump up onto a platform but falls into a deep abyss and dies instead, do not make wisecracks like “gee, you are too fat to make that jump”.

Subtlety means putting your arms around his waist and saying sweetly, “Wow, is that love handles I am holding on to?”. Subtlety means avoiding words like “fat” and “pig” and replacing them with “tubby” and “bear”. Subtlety means punching his tummy and then yelping out in mock fear, “Oh no! My hand is trapped within your stomach!”

3. Motivate him
If you want him to lose weight by going jogging, you must first make yourself an example. Get up at 7am every morning to pound on the tarmac and he will naturally be inspired.

I mean, if you can haul your bony buns off your bed to collide with old ladies who refuse to give way to you each time you meet at the little roundabout near your place, so can he and his bountiful bum.

4. Praise him
When he really moves his ass and goes running, you must be full of encouragement. Say things like, “So sexy!” or “Wow, I am so proud of you!” and mean it.

Do NOT, however, eye his body meaningfully while flipping through a copy of Men’s Health and say, “You’re never going to look like this, aren’t you?” It’s demoralising, even if you really believe it so.

Do NOT, also, reward his efforts by bringing him out to dinner at KFC. It’s pointless. If he whines and insists that KFC is his favourite food, poke him in the stomach to make your point clear. And if he still refuses to budge, slap his tummy duly.

5. Do not nag
It’s a universal maxim: we all hate it when people nag. You tune out when your mum tells you to clean your pigsty of a room. You are irritated when someone gives you a set of instructions and then keep watching and correcting you as you perform your tasks.

So the worst thing you can do is to keep bugging him, day in day out: “Did you go jogging? Did you go jogging? Did you go jogging?” And when he responds in the negative, refrain from screaming hysterically, “Why? Why you so like that?”

Instead, keep cool and calm and say, “Oh are you going tomorrow then?” Then pat his tummy meaningfully, regretfully but silently.

If all of the above fail, the it’s time to buy him a pack of Cambridge diet or Extrim for his birthday to get the message through his thick skull.

He jogged!
Mmm….manly man who went jogging….I like….

Everything Else

No Casino, Yes IR

Now that everyone has stopped talking about our soon-to-be IR, I shall write about my point of view. Too late? Better late than never.

Well, since our most respected daily has told us to stop whining, we must acquiesce. Because, you know, they have just won loads of awards at some competition and they are charging poor people like us to read their online edition. So we must listen, because they are very big.

I’m just terribly amused at the way they are trying to set the agenda for unsuspecting citizens. Has anyone noticed that they like to highlight stories of ministers or MPs who were once vehemently against the casino but have since changed their minds?

Take, for example, the story of our Labour chief. His voice apparently broke during his speech and he had tears in his eyes. He was overwhelmed by emotions. He could not resist the call of 35,000 new jobs.

Oh jolly good, but how many such stories do you read of those who remain unchanged about their dislike for a casino? The impression I get of opposition ministers is that they are moronic for firstly, accusing the gahmen of aiming to pocket all the profits for themselves and leaving us innocent people to suffer the resulting social ills, and secondly, demanding to know the exact floor space of the casino because, well, 5% of 500 sq feet is smaller than 5% of 100,000,000 sq feet (I had B for A’levels Maths, okay).

Nasty agenda. Not nice.

Well, I think that gambling is a vice (Mama always taught me to steer clear of gamblers) and 2.1% of the population is still a large number, no matter what people say. But at the same time, I welcome the IR because I seriously think this little island needs a shakeup or two.

If people don’t get to gamble here, they will go to Genting or Macau. Or go online and bet $500 on each soccer match, as someone I know does. So we might as well have one here where all the revenue will go to us than to help other countries boost their economies.

Besides, the PM has already pledged to take all the responsibility should the IR fail. As he is also the Finance Minister, I am sure he must have done the sums and the pre-requisite forecasts. If he is willing to risk his good name to throw his lot in with the gambling consortiums, then I have no reason to doubt him.

As for me, the $100 entry fee has killed any inkling of desire to poke my nose around the place and work those biceps at the jackpot machines. You gotta be kidding, $100 can buy me two pairs of shoes from x:odus, a nice jacket from Mango or a pretty bag from Tangs. Heck, just top up $78 and I can get an iPod shuffle!

Okay, you can do the gambling and I will do the shopping. Deal.

Let’s play tag!

Silly things, The organised chaos

Geek found somewhere else

So, I went to work in a grumpy and dumpy mood.

I hadn’t slept well, had a failed attempt at jogging (curse the day I kena IBS) and was not speaking to him due to a misunderstanding. And then I reached the office only to be met by a waspish editor who thankfully morphed back into her usual cheery self shortly before lunch (earlier suspicions of PMS proved to be right) .

Moreover, nyrtap was having a go at me over MSN whenever he could despite my already vulnerable state, insisting that Tiger would be eating me up for lunch come April 29. (edit: nyrtap wants me to say that he was joking and that he really is a very nice guy.)

I got sick of him and of cracking my brains for good leads on Itanium and decided to surf around. And lo and behold, as this blog was loading, I saw my own bespectacled self staring back and me.


I was so shocked, I closed the window and stared at my pretty wallpaper.
I loaded it again and really, that’s my face on his blog.

I’m super embarrassed because if you have looked at the previous photos, they were all of pouty girls with come-hither looks. They all look like Christy Chung‘s younger sisters (yes, the Christy Chung link is beneficial to all men, go click). And I looked like a blardy underaged nerd next to them. Gawd. I am so not the shagworthy kind. I….I look like a librarian!

Okay, that is so stereotypical, naughty yann.

But anyway, thanks Kor for the shout-out. Much appreciated.

Prada eye bags
Who says I look like nerd? I got Prada eye bags, donch play play

The organised chaos

The geek speaketh

So, reactions to the geeky look have been mixed. Some say sexy and chio, while some say hideous and hideous. There’s no pleasing everyone, I guess. Oh well, as long as I like it, who cares about what others think?

But I can seek solace in that my favourite person in the world is back! Yes, Little Miss Shopaholic has returned from a trip to KL, where she had a one night stand, only to find that the United Nations has set up shop in her shoe cabinet.

Will wonders never cease!

Little Miss Shopaholic

The UN of shoes

LMS. Needs. To. Get. Rid. Of. Old. Shoes.

Okay, so Little Miss Shopaholic has just bought another pair of shoes.
Big deal right?
Why is it such a big deal?
Because LMS has been eyeing said shoes for the longest time (two months)! LMS says, “Hurrah for sales and discounts!”
And because LMS is such a sweetling, she will share with you her find – local diva x:odus!

Hurry down to x:odus now as shoes go as low as $9. There are funky floral wedges, which LMS’s dear friend Popartgirl is in possession of, cutesy round-toe tweed heels that are oh-so-retro (stupid sizists, smallest size is only 5??!), slinky metallic thongs in ravishing silver, bronze and gold, pretty ballet flats with sequins (ditto sizists), pastoral slippers with dragonfly motifs (yes, shoes can be….pastoral)….oh the list goes on! LMS could die of hyperventilation before she finishes the list!

LMS procured a pair of purple wedge heels (wedge heels are all over the rage now, dahhhhling) which she had been stalking like mad since February. It used to retail for $42.90 (those bloodsuckers, tsk tsk) and now it’s an amazing $29!

But now, she is frantically deciding between leaving the shoes in her cosy little cubicle at work or bringing them back home immediately. You see, LMS-Mama thinks that LMS has too many pairs of shoes. So if LMS leaves the shoes in office, she can then bring them back on Friday night and pretend that it was a gift from the boyfriend! Brilliant, right? The only problem is that LMS is not a hoarder, unlike Popartgirl. She loves the luxury of unwrapping a new find, parading in it in her room and then carefully placing it in its rightful position in the closet. She loves coming up with outfits to match the new member of the family. She cannot bear the thought of her new item still holed up in its box, unworn and unloved for more than a week. No no no!

Lest you think that LMS is incorrigible and has a closet full of shoes, she assures you that she is not and is the owner of only….okay, she dares not count the number of pairs of shoes that she has. It’s not quantity that matters, my dear, it’s the quality. She will, however, let on that she has the shoes equivalent of the United Nations in her shoe closet. Why, it could even be a rainbow!

Black, pink, blue, purple, white, red, beige, brown, silver, grey…..see, it ain’t that many, right?

The organised chaos

Geek alert!

Okay, this is totally narcissistic but well, too bad.
I just got my new glasses!

They’re oversized, they’re black, they’re plastic, they’re cat’s eyes and they’re so nerdy.
Geek is the new cool (and no, EFB, I don’t mean you).

Got new glasses cos I have been wearing the old ones to work when I get to stay in. The old ones, almost five years old now, are so scratched that I keep wiping them, thinking that they are smudged.

It’s so ironic that years after I banished plastic frames to the trash bin in favour of the funkier metal frames, I am so enamoured of them again. Ah well, the ways of fashion. See if I throw away anything from now on.

Little Miss Shopaholic

KL one night stand

Little Miss Shopaholic is back!
She has been swamped under work but have no fear, she is back with a vengence.

Alright, now that the festive season is so over, there really aren’t that many sales around. What, can’t LMS buy stuff when there is no sale? That’s not the point.

LMS says, “The thrill of buying something that’s sooooo on sale is sooooo addictive.”

Anyway, LMS went to Kuala Lumpur for business a couple of weeks back and boy, was she a happy queen after that. She braved the heavy downpour to throng the Jalan Bukit Bintang area and was rewarded with Abercrombie & Fitch, Hollister and Aeropostale goodies! In addition, she even bought something for LMS-Mama, who was very pleased with her grey, embroidered top. So, where did LMS stumble onto these goodies?

Why, at Factory Outlet Store (F.O.S), of course!
Everybody who is a fashion slave knows about the wonders of F.O.S. It stocks up choice clothings from A&F, Gap, Old Navy, Hollister, Aeropostale etc. No need to fly thousands of miles to lay your hands on the cutesy mini-skirts of Hollister! No need to pay through your nose for a pair of Gap denims. Just drive up four hours (or in LMS’s case, fly up in 50 minutes) and tah dah!

The best part about shopping at F.O.S is, of course, the currency rate. LMS bought an indecent A&F denim mini-skirt, a Aeropostale sheer military shirt, a cheery Hollister top, Mama’s top and a foldable umbrella (didn’t she tell you that there was a downpour) for merely S$60! Everybody say “WOW!”

KL is not only good for F.O.S (which, frankly, you can get in JB while on a seafood binge), it is also home to Vincci, Seed, Eclipse, Nose and Tangs. Vincci’s local incarnation is VNC, which is actually pathetic when you compare it to KL. Ditto Seed. As for Eclipse and Nose, well they are not available in Singapore, which sucks. Eclipse actually has pretty nice stuff but unfortunately, its foray into Singapore failed miserably some years back.

You may wonder, Tangs in KL?? “But…but we can get it in Singapore!”
Yes, of course you can. But there, LMS can indulge in her favourite Studio ballet pumps for merely RM25! Tell me, can you find such lobangs in Singapore?

So if you are cash-strapped but want to have a break somewhere in the middle of civilisation, head down to KL and explore the uncharted terrains of Bukit Bintang.

The organised chaos

First Love

We were just 17 when we first met.

It’s quite the typical story, actually. He was from a boys school and I was from a girls school. Neither of us had ever been in a relationship before, although we had our fair share of crushes. So there we were, two young people engaging in silly acts like wading in the sea in shorts and tee-shirts and doing mass dances in the hall of the school by the sea, all in the name of orientation.

He wasn’t terribly good-looking, just your average tall and lanky kid with a wacky sense of humour. I wasn’t that gorgeous either, all frizzy hair and gangly, malnourished limbs. But somehow, somewhere, something clicked between and up till today, I still have no idea why or how.

Continue reading “First Love”