The official word is out – I am currently shopping for a new job.
While I was away in Las Vegas, rumours reached me that the company would be closing down due to the lack of profitability. The editor confirmed the rumours when I got back and so, three months into the job, I am back to the elusive search again.
I’m neither shocked nor broken by the news. In a way, with all the changes that had been in the pipeline, I had an inkling that things were not going well. And in an odd way, I am blessed with a sense of optimism which tells me that things will right themselves sooner or later. Just as the company was my salvation from a life of PR drudgery, it will once again be the beacon that will bring me down the right path. Or so I truly believe.
I’m just glad that in my short time here, I had the chance to try almost everything there was to do in the magazine. I had a cover story, a column, covered everything from press conferences to one-on-one interviews with the head honchos of the various companies. I was wined and dined, shopped at Kuala Lumpur and enjoyed the breathtaking view of Las Vegas. Heck, I even had an iBook to work with.
In a way, that was all thanks to a wonderful team of editors that I had the lucky opportunity to work with, especially my very own editor. I never got the impression from anyone that since I was still a baby in the industry, there were things that I couldn’t do. The ed gave me the chance to explore and grow creatively, and made me believe that I could be just as good a writer as she is in time to come.
So what do I want to do now? I’m uncertain but I do know that I will definitely be writing again. Once you have tasted the fruit of passion, you never want to give it up and that’s how it is for me and writing. Who knows, maybe I will try out for lifestyle writing again, or remain in the tech industry. But this incident has taught me to never take things for granted, to never get lost in the ideal that something this good will always be there.
Thanks to all who called or emailed and asked about me, I’m truly appreciative. I received a call from fellow tech journo A, who was also a classmate during my university days, and I was glad that I had at least made a friend during this time.
At the same time, I just want to voice out my opinion that this is an intensely personal matter for me and I did not appreciate the fact that there were people who made available this piece of news in pseudo-public channels of communication, such as my blog and other interactions. In light of the fact that I was unfortunate enough to be out of the country when the news broke, I think that was highly insensitive. It was definitely unpleasant to have people come up to me and say “I heard that your company is closing down”.
While the road is hazy for me still, I want to have the power to believe that I can still make good this life. I want to believe that I still have the ability to chase my dreams and carve out a name for myself, doing something that I love.
I want to believe that there is still something this good for me out there.