Everything Else

Music 4 Mondays (16): The one about liking my relationship

Recently, Pinkbee told me in all honesty, about how much she misses being attached. There was no stigma attached to that admission, it was just an acknowledgment of that fact. Truth be told, I actually do agree with her and I say so with no sense of stigma or dependency.

It might sound needy and clingy but I do enjoy being in a relationship more than I like being single. It’s not to say that I think being single is sad and lonely, in fact, I think it shows great confidence for a person to be comfortable and happy without being in a relationship. Because really, some of us would rather be trapped in loveless or even abusive relationships because they cannot imagine themselves without a partner.

From the age of 17 till now, I have never been without a boyfriend for less than a year. It might sound as if I have had a lot of relationships but the total sum of my love experiences can actually be counted with just one hand. In the end, it took an incident last year for me to realise how I could actually be happy by myself, I didn’t need someone else to give me a sense of completion.

But I like sharing a healthy relationship with someone I love and who loves me back, more than I value my singlehood as a badge of honour, independence, whatever. I don’t think I am a sad sod for wanting to be part of something, or that this means I would compromise my identity as an individual.

I like being with someone who would willingly, though grudgingly in a good-natured way, watch April Snow with me. I like being with someone who shares my interest in the arts and likes going for Arts Fest performances too. I like being with someone who doesn’t mind waiting while I try on pretty clothes. I like being with someone who picks me up when I fall into doubt. I like getting a nice bear hug. I like laughing out loud when he makes inane comments like how handsome he is.

And most importantly, I like being with someone who does not begrudge my apology which came a day later, who made me tear when he returned the apology with the kind of understanding that took me by surprise, even after almost six years of being together.

God Only Knows by The Beach Boys
One Week by Barenaked Ladies

Health Goddess

An achievement

Well, the results of the marathon is officially out and I must say, I am pretty amazed at how quickly they computed the times.

“!(imgleft)http://static.flickr.com/34/70361570_f835f1343b_m.jpg!(Click to see enlarged picture)”:http://www.flickr.com/photos/yannie/70361570/

Apparently, I completed 10km at a time of 1 hour 15 minutes and 58 seconds. Phew, two seconds more and it would have been 16 minutes, which just does not sound as good as 15. I guess considering that I had set myself a very, very conservative target of 1 hour and 30 minutes, this is better than expected. Afterall, it is my first marathon.

The night before, I had difficulty sleeping, it felt as if I was constantly in the realm between deep sleep and light slumber. It could be jet lag or race nerves, I don’t know. Before I knew it, the alarm clock rang at 5.30am and it was time to get up. Didn’t have much time to eat so I merely wolfed down a muesli bar, which is a mistake, on hindsight.

Got to Suntec City with Trevor and we both took a dump at the loo before heading for the Padang. Which turned out to be a great idea, since Shitimonster was hindered by his need to poop throughout his run. Anyway, met up with him and Popartgirl and the atmosphere was just electrifying. We were laughing and giggling while walking to the starting point, only to realise that we were late and the (serious) runners had been flagged off already. It was another five minutes before we made it to the starting line.

The first 3km was rather smooth but soon after, the problems started. I developed a stitch and my mind started wandering. I stopped, realising that I was probably dehydrated (didn’t drink much water before the run) and decided to walk to the water station at the 4km mark. Downed a whole bottle of Ice Mountain, choked a little and then resumed running.

I started getting the chills shortly after the first water station. The hairs on my arms were standing and I was shivering a little, even as I was running. It felt completely bizarre. Normally, when I run in the cool comforts of the gym, the body heat generated by the physical activity would overwhelm the coldness of the air-conditioning. That morning, I was somehow not generating enough heat and the wind rushing by my sweat-drenched arms caused me to freeze, while the run was making me hot and bothered. I had to stop, rub my arms to keep warm, run and then repeat the cycle all over again.

Luckily, a group of girls cheering at the 6km mark roused me. They were from my alma mater and they were there to lend support to a group of netball players, distinctive with the bright yellow and green ribbons in their hair. Somehow, the sight of these young girls inspired me and I gritted my teeth and carried on jogging, all the while singing the familiar and comforting strains of an old school song in my mind.

“SCGS, we are the beSt-CGS, we beat the reSt-CGS, we are the SCGS”

Carried on walking, shivering and running like that till the last 1km, where I told myself I had to really push on to the end. When I rounded the bend to see the mass of people cheering at the sidelines at the Padang, I almost cried in joy. Sprinted the last 150 metres like a mad woman possessed and finally came to a stop. At that moment, tears flowed because I had made it, despite my discomfort throughout the run.

I had done it.

A year ago, if you had told me that I would be running 10km, I would have laughed in your face. But now, here I am, with a medal to call my own and a sense of achievement and shared camaraderie with my friends.

I guess I was initally disappointed by the fact that I had walked, instead of running through the 10km as I had originally planned but everyone tells me that I did good with my time, despite the fact that I was probably turning into Frosty the snow(wo)man. I was really silly to think that I could sustain a one hour plus run with just a teeny weeny muesli bar. If I had eaten more, I probably wouldn’t have gotten as cold as I did. If I had been better prepared, it would have been much more easier.

But in the end, it just felt great to have finally done it despite the odds.
My legs are hurting all over but it feels so good, the adrenalin has carried over to today.
Maybe next year, I will try again to better my timing.