Everybody likes to say that the only constant thing in life is its constant changes. People come and go, the tides turn, the stock market goes up and down. Nothing ever remains as it was six months ago because we change, the environment changes and the time changes.
But changes can be rather hard for me to swallow sometimes. And last Saturday, during choir practice, it just hit me more acutely than ever.
“!(imgleft)http://static.flickr.com/11/17073039_58cb794f60_m.jpg!(VC’s costume party, Dec 2001)”:http://www.flickr.com/photos/yannie/17073039/
Whatever happened to those times when we would always go out, after practices, for movies or drinks? Always the same group of us, always the same drivers, always the same fun. There were BBQs, Christmas parties, drunken revelry at clubs and crazy excursions across the Causeway. It probably changed at a time when everyone suddenly went solo and pursued their own lives in the different corners of the world. Some grew closer to one another, others grew cynical, sensing that the rock solid friendships that they once sought solace in were slowly disappearing. What we had was good, even I, who was mainly a spectator as the girlfriend of one who was in the circle, could see that.
“!(imgleft)http://static.flickr.com/1/682792_f2ddbab85f_m.jpg!(Happy at Choir Olympics 2004 in Bremen)”:http://www.flickr.com/photos/yannie/682792/
Whatever happened to those times when we stood around the lobby of Siglap South CC, taking the longest time to decide what we should do after Choir Olympics practices? This time, it was always a different group each week. We went for drinks at Beach Hut, took photos every week like the camera whores that we were and hit the nearby KTV joint whenever we felt like it. How we changed, I do not know, I cannot tell. Suddenly, the informal lines vanished down the drain and in its place, a clique emerged. Where plans were made amongst certain individuals and private jokes were shared out of earshot.
I still love the choir, still love singing, still love the arduous journey of learning songs and going for overseas competitions. But the familial feeling is gone, and I don’t love the vibe that I am getting now. I feel myself getting detached and distant, nonchalant and unexcitable.
Maybe it’s time to move on to another phase of my life.