Oscar fashion

The best thing about the job, really, is the fact that each desk has its own tiny television set. Presumably to alert us to breaking news when tuned to channels such as CNN and BBC, the dial was firmly set at Channel 5 this morning for the Academy Awards.

As I sat there looking through the photos that were pouring in, with one eye fixed firmly at the television, I realised that the fashion parade of this year’s Oscars is sadly bland and boring. Unlike previous years, there weren’t any wow dresses that made me go weak in the knees. For instance, I will always remember the canary yellow Carolina Herrera dress with the giant bow that Renee Zellweger wore one year and the chic green Dior dress that Nicole Kidman wore when she was still Mrs Cruise.

This year, only a handful broke out of the predominantly dark colours to don cheery, bold colours. And now, let’s cut to the chase and get to the yAnnisms Fashion Oscars. Drum roll please!

The Ughs

!(img)https://yannisms.com/pix/oscars/jennifer_lopez_vintage.jpg! !(img)https://yannisms.com/pix/oscars/diane_kruger_eliesaab.jpg!

Okay, I admit to extreme prejudice but I really am not a fan of JLo. Her fashion sense fails to awe me in any way. Although she is conservatively dressed in this vintage gown here, I don’t like this murky green, bondage-like dress with the two flappy things at the side. It looks like she is singing in a Chinese opera.

Diane Krueger….ahh such a pity, for she truly is one beautiful woman. Alas, her Elie Saab dress resembles a table cloth despite her fair countenance and slender figure. But points to her for her lovely, artfully messy hairdo.

!(img)https://yannisms.com/pix/oscars/charlize_theron_dior.jpg! !(img)https://yannisms.com/pix/oscars/helena_bonham_carter.jpg!

Yet another sad, sad case here for a gorgeous woman clothed in an ostentatious dress. Charlize Theron, what has John Galliano done to you??! This Dior dress is just so wrong, from the weird bow at your shoulder to the cryptic folds encasing your lovely figure. Eeks.

And without a doubt, the Worst Fashion Mistake goes to Helena Bonham Carter. The hair resembles a bird’s nest, the dress makes her look disproportionate. Eeeeeew.

The Blahs

!(img)https://yannisms.com/pix/oscars/hilary_sawnk_versace.jpg! !(img)https://yannisms.com/pix/oscars/naomi_watts_givenchy.jpg!

Hilary Swank’s Versace dress is just boring, boring. Safe. Black. Boring. End of story.

I am actually in two minds about Naomi Watts’ dress. It’s very feminine and ethereal, befitting her King Kong character. But the folds around her midsection create bulk and I actually thought she was either pregnant or had put on lots of weight. Not flattering.

!(img)https://yannisms.com/pix/oscars/michelle_williams_veraw.jpg! !(img)https://yannisms.com/pix/oscars/uma_thurman_versace.jpg!

Everyone is probably talking about Michelle Williams-Vera Wang dress, and how it is one of the best but I beg to differ. I love the vintage look, the delicate folds, but I think the colour is really wrong. Or maybe, I am just not a fan of yellow. I would have preferred it in blue or champagne or dark purple.

Uma Thurman is a goddess but her dress is rather bland and boring. With her height and frame, she can actually carry off something more adventurous and striking.

!(img)https://yannisms.com/pix/oscars/jennifer_aniston_rochas.jpg! !(img)https://yannisms.com/pix/oscars/rachel_weisz.jpg!

I’ve always loved Jennifer Aniston and her girlish, laidback charm. But in this black Rochas number, she seems to have opted for a safer alternative, something that would enable her to blend into the background. Perhaps this is a reaction to the problems she faced? But I applauded her as she took to the stage, standing with her head held high in the presence of her peers.

As for Rachel Weisz, I actually prefer the dress she wore to the Golden Globes instead of this Narcisco Roderiguez black dress. But since she is pregnant, I think she can be forgiven for being safe. Afterall, my eyes are still smarting from Catherine Zeta-Jones’ spilling, pregnant boobs when she won the Best Supporting Actress award two years ago(?).

The Wows

!(img)https://yannisms.com/pix/oscars/nicole_kidman_balanciaga.jpg! !(img)https://yannisms.com/pix/oscars/keira_knightley_verawang.jpg!

Nicole Kidman never fails to astonish me with her delicate beauty and elegant dress sense. Here, she is clad in a simple Balenciaga dress (what, no Chanel?) but what made this look a winner is her hair. Bucking trend, she lets it frame her face gently, looking fresh and girlish at the same time.

There is absolutely nothing wrong with Keira Knightley’s wine-coloured Vera Wang gown. It’s dramatic without being loud, elegant and womanly. She carries it very well, I might add. Here, Vera Wang shows her mastery, proving to us why she is the wedding dress couturer in town.

!(img)https://yannisms.com/pix/oscars/salma_hayek_versace.jpg! !(img)https://yannisms.com/pix/oscars/jada_robert_cavelli.jpg!

Two very strong and yet womanly characters here – Salma Hayek (Versace) and Jada Pinkett-Smith (Roberto Cavalli). They both broke out of the dark walls to embrace colour and ended up champions on the red carpet.

!(img)https://yannisms.com/pix/oscars/zhang_ziyi_armani.jpg! !(img)https://yannisms.com/pix/oscars/jessica_alba_versace.jpg!

I love this Armani gown on Zhang Ziyi. It’s a simple cut but extremely flattering. Or maybe it’s because I have a preference for flared skirts. Not many people can carry off that look well and Zhang Ziyi certainly did, to maximum effect.

And what is there not to love about Jessica Alba’s Versace dress? The golden colour sets off her colouring well, and the train is romantic without being overly sappy. Nice!

!(img)https://yannisms.com/pix/oscars/amy-adams_carolina.jpg! !(img)https://yannisms.com/pix/oscars/amy-adams_carolina_back.jpg!

In my biased mind, this could have been THE best dress of the evening – Amy Adams in Carolina Herrera. There is something about the way the designer wraps dresses around women like origami that is strangely appealing. It suits the occasion and the train just stands out. My only quibble? The colour. The brown is so dull. I would have loved it if it was dark purple.

And of course, there is no doubt, absolutely no doubt at all, which is my favourite Oscars dress:
!(img)https://yannisms.com/pix/oscars/julia_roberts.jpg!

Julia Roberts in her vintage Valentino gown, 2001.

When I first saw it five years ago, I fell in love and decided that if I am ever to be married, this would be the dress I would want to wear. It probably sparked off my craze for all things vintage and till this day, I never saw a dress that appealed to me as much.

So, we have come to the end of our Oscars fashion coverage. Before I leave, I just have to say that the best-dressed person in the crowd was:
!(img)https://yannisms.com/pix/oscars/jake_gyllenhaal_oscars.jpg!

Why, Jake Gyllenhaal, of course! But then again, he could be in his birthday suit and I would be just as happy. Swoons.

[Let’s play tag! academyaward, fashion, oscars, hollywood]