Two of Us

No other way

To say that today is not a good day would absolutely be an understatement.

I got out of bed late, bleary-eyed from the lack of sleep caused by a late night of election-watching. The fatigue was getting to me and I was grumpy and sleepy. Thankfully, the grumpiness dipped when I reached office.

The good thing about working weekends is that people are generally more relaxed and generous with their smiles and laughter. During weekdays, the big bosses are around and we have to be more on-the-ball. There are more pictures to clear and the presence of other people in the office translates into being politically correct and not playing games or chit-chatting to while away the time.

The bad thing about working weekends is the fact that you are stuck in office while others are enjoying watching the roses grow out in the sun.

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Decided to cancel my tuition session and proceeded to command the boyfriend, via text messages, to meet me in his least glamorous getup in order to match mine. And he was sweet enough to comply with no resistance.

We stropped around town nonchalantly in our market wear without buying anything but junk food and somehow, that was the button to push. My spirits recovered enough for me to start yakking away again and he then drove us over to Serene Center for some comfort food in the form of ice-cream. We sat there under the setting sun, not talking much, not feeling the need to fill up the silence with meaningless words.

Days like these makes me glad that he is in my life because honestly, there aren’t many people who would accept so unconditionally my quirks and odd behaviour, like bursting unexpectedly into song in the car before falling soundly asleep or insisting on going up into cable cars to catch the sunset. And he is good for me because while I tend to go off into tangential flights of fancy, he prevents me from falling and brings me back to solid ground gently.

I used to have this mantra that when it comes to a relationship, you need to be with someone who is not only good to you but also good for you and I think he fits that perfectly.

The irony is, of course, that all these wouldn’t have happened if we had never gone through what we had experienced a couple years back. The doubt, pain, anguish and tears shed for what had seemed like a lost cause. The mistakes we made, of words unsaid, of hidden dark thoughts, the lack of honesty.

Maybe it was a trial by fire, maybe it was just the hand of fate and we had played right into it. It still haunts me from time to time, like a pesky fly that just would not be deterred but it hardly matters these days.

We may never own a Mini Cooper S (his favourite car), or live in a mansion with all the trappings of wealth. Instead, we will be your ordinary Bedok or Tampines citizens in a tiny flat, taking the MRT to work everyday and cutting discount coupons for our grocery purchases.

I would not have it any other way.

Silly things

I is for….

Somehow, I realise that half my memes are offloaded this way by this fellow called Hucks, who merrily tagged me when I decided to open my heart and share my innermost secret with him. And he just has to give me a letter which is so darn difficult. Grr.

Comment on this entry and I will give you a letter. Write ten words beginning with that letter in your journal, including an explanation what the word means to you and why, and than pass out letters to those who want to play along.

Here goes….

1. I is for iMac
My baby, the most expensive thing I have ever bought for myself. It’s lasted me for exactly four years now and it’s still going strong. Rock on, Apple!

2. I is for iPod
I really wouldn’t know what I would do if I do not have my 5G iPod. I am so spoilt these days, tuning into my favourite teevee shows while on the train, on the bus, anywhere actually. So, rock on, Apple! Last I heard, Creative suffered a loss in their last financial quarter. Pardon me while I go off to smirk.

3. I is for ice-cream
I have a sweet tooth and I lurrrve ice-cream. Last night, it was two tubs of Ben and Jerry’s and today, it was Island Creamery at Serene Centre. And this is why the boyfriend is so cute and tubby and has hence lost his bet with me (Bangkok, here I come!).

4. I is for India
Definitely one of the places that I want to backpack through before I grow up and become a spoilt adult who only wants air-conditioning and soft, comfortable beds when she travels.

5. I is for irritating
This is on my list of most-used words. Frequently preceded by “bloody” and followed by a variety of unmentionables (this is a child-safe site).

6. I is for Imogen Heap
A great singer whom I discovered last year. Amazing, unique vocals and catchy tunes.

7. I is for inspiration
All creative people will attest to the fact that without inspiration, our work is like a bottle of flat soda, bland and stale. Not sure why but I find myself bereft of inspiration lately. The best artists are those who can create sparks out of the most ordinary events and sadly, I can’t seem to see the best in these little things anymore. I keep thinking that my best writing years are over, I am just as mediocre as your next blogger who talks of nothing but what she ate and did today. Sometimes, people like O2 and monoceros puts me to shame.

8. I is for insecurity
There are those who seem to be blessed with healthy amounts of confidence and then, there are those who never seem to have enough. I hover between the edge of both, often creating unnecessary emotional distress by thinking about things that should hardly matter. Not many people know this but the crazy, loud-mouthed facade is often nothing more than a mask to cover up the inadequacies felt within (see above).

9. I is for imagination
While I may lack self-belief sometimes, I certainly am in no danger of suffering from a lack of imagination. Give me an idea and I can push it to a region far outerworldly than you can ever, well, imagine. When I was 10, I was Prince Harry’s wife and riding a horse. Hah.

10. I is for….I
I, me, myself. Despite everything, I am actually a pretty happy person. I don’t have hangups, don’t desire to put on weight to look good, don’t care much for getting bigger boobs, don’t think twice about going to town in nothing but my bare face, specs, singlet, sweat pants and slippers. I’m sort of cruising through life contentedly and it’s fine just the way it is.

There! Boy, was that tough.