Two of Us

Stuck in reverse

The conversation flowed, the atmosphere was cosy and comfortable. We ate, chatted, laughed, exchanged memories and reminisced. In many ways, it was like the first date that I have not had for the longest time except that it was a sparkling date between two people who eventually became friends.

And when we parted ways, I was almost sorry to see him go, especially since he would be leaving town for at least a year. Which, in a way, is rather strange given how our contact had been limited for the past few years. If not for his imminent departure, I doubt we would have even met up today.

I have said before that I do not regret my decision although I do regret the hurt I had caused to someone so funny, kind and sweet. And tonight, I felt that regret acutely because I was once again reminded of how genuine a person he is. I am deeply sorry for my lack of patience and tact, my willfulness and my insensitivity.

The little spark was still there, sort of, but things are very different now. I knew then that it wouldn’t have worked and that is probably true. I would never have grown to love him as much as I loved him, and it would always be a one-sided affair. But a certain level of camaraderie was there and it was hard to shake it off.

I’m glad that we didn’t take it far. Because then, it would always be something sweet and tender that we never had, rather than a broken reminder of the past.

I wish you shelter from the storm
A cozy fire to keep you warm
But most of all when snowflakes fall
I wish you love

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