There is something about the movie Love Actually that gets to me.
Every year since 2003, I have watched it at least once and every time, I turn into a blubbering mess of tears, sobs and smiles. It happens when Karen (Emma Thompson) finds out that the gold necklace her husband had bought was not meant for her, when she tells him that he is not only a fool but has made her entire life with him seems foolish, when Daniel (Liam Neeson) gives a eulogy at his wife’s funeral, when little Sam dashes through Heathrow airport in search of his love, when Mark (Andrew Lincoln) expresses his love for his best friend’s wife, Juliet (Keira Knightley).
It’s a soppy, soppy movie and I have fallen right into it.
In less than 24 hours, Jimmy and I will turn seven. Unbelievably so but true indeed.
To be honest, this is not a perfect relationship. Those who know me will know that this has been nothing like a fairytale love and I have never portrayed it as such.
Truth is, we both work very hard at this relationship. Whatever we have today is based on a lot of trust, love, honesty, compromise and effort. There are times when we falter and lose the focus to try. We fight, stop listening and forget about understanding each other. But we always bounce back right into the rhythm and move on, improving as we go.
He is not the perfect man to me, and I am sure I am not his idea of perfect either. Sometimes, I wish he could be more sensitive, more romantic, less curt and be more of a listening ear than a preaching voice. And he probably has a million other traits to ask of me too.
But that is the beauty of love – it’s when you look past all these “flaws” and see the person for who he is and still accept him unconditionally. I know I can never change him to become my idea of what a perfect partner should and this has stopped becoming my goal ever since I shed my childish notions and opened my eyes.
The highlight of this year has to be the purchase of our first house together. It signifies our shared step into the future and although I am apprehensive about the responsibilities this brings, I am also feeling the excitement at going beyond our current relationship.
I can’t wait for him to put that ring on my finger and call me his wife, and I say that without embarrassment. He is the person whom I want to spend forever with, to hold hands with when wrinkles deepen in our faces and grey hair cover our heads. I don’t care if we will never drive fancy cars or live in big houses, if we will always be eating at hawker centres and never buying branded goods as long as we are together and happy.
I knew that when I was 19 and at 25, I understand it now.
I’m just really happy to be where I am today, to be standing with this man and counting down to a new year. We may never be the perfect couple, we will always fight and whinge but I’m glad I am doing it with him.
Dear boyfriend, I don’t know what exactly it was that made you fall for the 18-year-old me but I am glad you saw something in the two of us and made me believe in it too. Happy anniversary and I love you much much!