The organised chaos

Out of sorts

In passion and silence,
Every word, every line, a measure
It’s the science of the soul

These days, I don’t know who I am writing for or why I am writing or what I want to write.
It’s almost as if I am digging into something that’s running on empty. And when I write, I feel distinctly detached from the topic, almost as if my heart is not into it.

I don’t know why.
Does anyone even care, really?

It’s possibly irrational, my mind going all mush and emo on me. I have no opinions, no suggestions, no will and everything feels trite and shallow. Sometimes, the words can be bubbling in my brain when I am on the train and when I get home, it’s all but evaporated into nothing.

It’s like a well that’s dried up.

What happened?

Maybe it’s time to call it quits.

5 thoughts on “Out of sorts”

  1. Toy with the idea of quitting. Let this nothingness plague you for as long as it needs to, but never take it too seriously. You clearly love to write – as you mention in a recent post (and many others!) – so you shouldn’t quit. Alternatively, you *could* try quitting, but eventually, it’ll feel strange – disturbing even – not writing. And that’s when it’ll come back to you. How long this takes varies from writer to writer. Don’t worry if it takes a while. =)

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  2. hello yannie *grin*
    i’m actually reading your blog. i guess our intermittent updates aren’t sufficient 🙂 ok. so you have a writer’s block. it happens to the best of us. and the worse. but don’t feel pressured to put everything down into words. if the words aren’t bubbling, then don’t pen them down. sometimes, all that is pertinent loses their distinctive essence when expressed. maybe you’ve begun to associate writing as a job and it has lost that appealing flavour. dang. note to self: it’s time to retire 😀 heh. but i always believe you should write for yourself. it may be selfish but if you write for others, a semblance of honesty is lost. you subscribe yourself to the opinion of someone else. perhaps your well has dried cause the sun is shining too brightly. HAHA. sorry (and what may the sun be) if writing has been such an essential part of you and you call it quits, you would lose a huge part of yourself. damn yannie, lose more of anything and we would lose sight of you *grin* i realised that i should’ve emailed you instead. anyways, i’m sure you’ll find your words. just set that damn dam free.
    frrr… frrr… freedom…….
    so when are we having dinner again…
    *huge hug*

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  3. i’ve felt the same way as you feel now for a long time; just feel that i can no longer string words together impactfully, nor translate how i feel adequately…

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  4. don’t feel pressured to write. quality is more important than quantity. when the time comes for the pen to overfloweth (haha), it will come naturally.

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  5. Thanks everyone. 🙂
    I was honestly quite worried, wondering if this marks the deterioration of myself as a writer. Hopefully it’s just a dull phase that would change as I move on to a new job!

    Min, my bff!!! I’ve missed you!!

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