Whatever the word you pick, it describes me now.
Friday is D-day – DEADLINE – and I’m sinking in piles of work. I have never been the sort to bring work home. I absolutely abhor working at home and I like to draw the line very, very clearly. But these days, I find myself checking email and writing stories from scratch on Ingrid and it’s just driving me a tad insane. In fact, I suspect Monday blues and stress were the causes of my two nights of insomnia before I finally hit the bed like a bag of bricks last night.
Every morning this week, I had felt like throwing in the towel. Until Corrinne May sang this into my ear this morning en route to the office:
“I feel like a little girl
Trying to conquer the whole wide world
Everybody wants a piece of me
And I just don’t know where to turn
I’ve got work piled up to my head
All I wanna do is jump into bed
And wash away my troubles with lemonade..”
Replace “lemonade” with “teh-si” and that’s me she’s singing about!
And somehow, the fog lifted. I went into the office, had a bit of a chat with the colleagues and I felt happier. It really helps to work with people whom you can trust, rely on and have a laugh with when the times get bad. And when I was facing a huge gap in my story which I just could not plug despite spending an afternoon walking from shop to shop, it was Trevor who came to my rescue. He found the solution for me and as I heaved a sigh of relief, I realised that I needed to take a step back and relax.
This job is stressful, true, and the crazy expectations and fluctuating moods of my boss can make me mad. But I need to accept the bads and learn to see that for a job that I like and enjoy (most times), it really isn’t too bad.
I just need to stay focused till the next stretch is over – the wedding is done and the east end is ready – before thinking real hard about our business plan and turning a dream into reality. And then I can decide on my next move again.