Two of Us, Wedding March

For better, for worse

Today, I understood why human beings need to have someone to rely on in their lives. And today, I came to realise how strong a wedding vow can be.

I woke up several times in the dark of the night to empty the contents of my stomach. At three in the morning, sitting on the bathroom floor and vomiting my guts out is definitely not my idea of fun. I didn’t say a word to my mother, who was leaving on her holiday, because I didn’t want her to worry. But after she had left, the sinking feeling of being utterly sick and alone hit me hard but all I could do was burrow deep into my covers and hope that it would go away.

It didn’t. I rang the slumbering boyf, who was clearly too muddled with sleep to respond to the urgency of my voice. In despair, I tried to will the chills away but when it showed no signs of ending, I called the boyf again and burst into tears.

“I’ll come over as soon as I can,” he promised.

And he did. I couldn’t stop crying, partly because of the discomfort and mostly because I was just so glad to be in the arms of someone who loved and cared for me. He got me food, stroked my back when I was back in front of the toilet bowl hurling the contents of of my tummy out and held my hand as I walked slowly to see the doctor. Without him, I wouldn’t have summoned the strength to do all that.

Back home, he sat down at the foot of my bed and waited patiently while I slumbered. For two hours, he sat there mucking around with his BundBook and everytime I opened my eyes, he was just there. His silent presence gave me strength and I started to feel much better, as mushy as it sounds. Plus, the various calls and text messages I got from my friends made me feel loved.

For better, for worse.

This may not be the worst “worse” that we will encounter in our future but right now, his unflinching support while I’m bent over the loo takes the cake.

Wedding March

100 days

!(imgcenter) shoe, small shoe)!:
“There’s never a wish better than this
When you only got 100 years to live”

Time really passes by when you are having fun. We used to think that we had plenty of time to plan the wedding; suddenly, we are left with only 100 days to go. When we first met, I had short, sassy hair; now we have celebrated eight anniversaries, with more to come for the rest of our lives.

100 days.

We spent the better part of the day playing Models Inc. with Eadwine. It started out a tad weirdly – afterall, we are more used to being behind the camera than working our pouts in front of it. Thankfully, the weather held up, we grew more accustomed to camera whoring and it turned out that we weren’t too bad at it. Plus, Ead was a gem to work with and we were pretty comfy with him around.

And it was super brilliant cos the boyf and I get to kiss. A LOT. And we also laughed. A LOT. Hopefully, the pictures will capture the essence of our relationship, which is…I don’t know, funny? Crazy? Affectionate? Lots of lurrrrrve?

I cannot wait for the pictures to be ready.

Wedding March

Veil unveiling

I am a happy bride-to-be!

Thanks to my personal FedEx man Joker, my “decorations” have arrived! They look really cute in their packaging and hopefully, they are 1000000000x cuter when unfolded and enhanced by the erm “things”. Don’t ask. I’m trying to cultivate a sense of mystery here.

And best of all, my veil is here! Now, I am a control freak. I want to make sure that every element of this fun wedding is done up according to my wishes. I mean, our wishes. Right. Anyway, I saw that the veil given by my bridal boutique isn’t that nice and decided to get an alternative. The problem is, these tiny pieces of tulle cost a hell lot of money. Some boutiques were hawking theirs for $200. Like, seriously?!

So I started surfing online and came across a few gorgeous pieces. But these intricate veils with delicate beading were out of my budget at almost US$80 per pop. In the end, simplicity and timelessness ruled over my vanity. Afterall, nobody (unless you are crazy brides-to-be) would be gushing over the veil at the wedding.

And who knew there is so much to learn about veils. One-tiered, two-tiered, drop, mantilla, edging, beading, crystals, pearls, colours, length, fullness… made me tired just thinking about it. Initially, I wanted to get a two-tiered veil because I wanted to have a blusher (the tier that hangs over your face, nothing to do with your cheek colour) but because my dress is a meringue nightmare with big poufy layers of tulle, I decided that a poufy veil would make me look like a poodle.

!(imgleft) drop veil!)!
Then I saw this. I love how the drop veil hangs delicately, and how simple and elegant it is. It doesn’t distract and yet serves its purpose cleanly. Ah, drop veil it is then.

Since I am tiny, a cathedral veil is out of the question. Sigh. In the end, I opted for Occansey Designs because it is highly rated and has a 50-inch drop veil that is wallet-friendly.

I tried it on with my wedding dress just now and had a picture taken (hooray for tripods), and I am thrilled with the effect. It’s now uploaded on a semi-secret location because I don’t want the boyf to see it.

Yay! Now, I’m super looking forward to our Friday engagement photo shoot with Eadwine!

Photo taken from srpro’s knottie bio

The organised chaos

It’s about…forgiveness


I’ve been trying to get down to the heart of the matter
Because the flesh gets weak
And the ashes will scatter
So I’m thinking about forgiveness

I know, this blog has been so full of Sex and the City. But after tonight’s screening, I can safely say that it has not disappointed me.

Yes, call me a soppy, blubbering romantic, a non-feminist, but I really, really love happily ever afters. We probably don’t need a man in our lives to make us feel complete, we can most definitely survive without one. But the truth is, life does feel good when there is someone you can count on to love you forever, even when your skin sags and you look nothing like the 18-year-old he first fell in love with. Does forever exist? Maybe not. But it is comforting to know that at least we are striving towards that, imperfect beings that we are.

The show was about forgiveness, which I thought was beautiful. Second chances, we know, don’t always come our way but when Carrie said that all she saw was love, I literally melted in understanding. Because when you love someone, you are able to put everything behind you, no matter how much hurt you had felt and how much your heart was shattered by him. You just don’t look back, you just don’t bring that baggage with you and lay it out whenever times are bad. That’s not an option.

It may sound idealistic but I think that’s what love is. You are able to look beyond the warts and the glaring flaws and the outright mistakes and continue loving him. Forgiveness is not a grand gesture, it’s not about flowers and cards and generous presents, it’s about digging deep into your heart and understanding that we will learn from this and move on. Together.

The last scene brought on major waterworks. It’s exactly the sort of emotions I had imagined for our wedding – us looking into each other with raw love, everybody brimming with happiness at our happiness. Because life and love is a journey and who better to witness the beginning of a life together than your friends and loved ones?

The girls still bring me much laughter and moved me to bits with their love for one another. It’s true, it’s just like we’ve all taken a nap and these four years never really flew past. But they did. As an angsty, young undergraduate, I watched the series with wide-eyed amazement and an eagerness that only exists in youth. As an older, more jaded and wiser adult, I am able to take a step back and look at everything with a discerning and understanding eye.

I’m a little sad that this is the finale, the denouement, for it’s virtually impossible to envision a sequel. I’d rather they end off on this note rather than bring us another installment of Carrie and Big’s roller-coaster ride.

And on this note, here’s the lovely love letter written by the genius Ludwig van Beethoven to his beloved, that Carrie had read out to Big in the movie. If our wedding had readings, this would go right on top of the list. Enjoy.

Be calm – love me – today – yesterday – what tearful longings for you – you – you – my life – my all – farewell. Oh continue to love me – never misjudge the most faithful heart of your beloved.
Ever thine
Ever mine
Ever ours