Being a grown up

Some days, I feel terribly old.
I wonder why I don’t get the things I want, and why it seems as if I have to try and fight so hard to get to where I am.
I don’t understand why my journey is so long.
And I think, am I doing it wrong? or, what if it’s not meant to be?
I wish I could be more patient or more confident. Kinder, gentler, wiser.
I’m 28 and I’ve yet to hit the many milestones that I thought I would by the time I reach this age.
I haven’t become the person that I wanted to be since I was a little girl.

And then I remember, I am only 28.
In the grander scheme of things, I have many more miles to walk.
That means, I still have a lot of time to grow and work on becoming a better person.
I may not be the person of my dreams but I am still a person that I love and who is loved.
My milestones may have changed but I am content with the ones that I have reached.

Nobody knows what being a grown up means until we reached that stage.
Some of us ease gently into the role but not all of us are able to be perfect grown ups immediately.
It takes lots of time and tonnes of practice.

Next time when I get disappointed, I will remember to stop being hard on myself and let it go.
Talk it out and turn it into something that works.

We just need time.