The organised chaos

I talk so all the time

Sometimes, it’s hard to be a grown-up.

Back then, whenever I felt down, I would skip classes and do something that would make me happy.
See a movie. Have ice-cream. Window-shop. Bury myself in a book. Snuggle under the covers.
Now, when I feel tired and weary, I have to put on my work hat and head to the office.
I say good morning, smile at the people I bump into in the lift, sit at my desk and turn on the computer.

There are good days and there are bad.
There are days when I feel positive and inspired.
And then there are days when I feel drab and lifeless.
I want to paint my life, colour it with hope and dreams and love and laughter.

But I know that this is life and it’s not always rosy and sweet.
There are times when I have to work a little harder to get to where I want to be.
And sometimes, I don’t even know if I will ever get there.
I tell myself to have faith and to live life gracefully in the meantime.

I may almost be 30 but I don’t have to benchmark my life against that age.
It’s okay if I still don’t get what I want to do by then.
It’s okay if my life is not all white houses and picket fences by then.
It’s okay if I don’t earn $X by then.
It’s okay if I don’t have a Chanel bag by then.
It’s okay if I am not my own boss by then.

It’s okay – I have a whole lifetime to figure it out.

(This familiar favourite has been on repeat mode)

3 thoughts on “I talk so all the time”

  1. I put Chanel on my list of must-haves when I hit 35 =P

    Anyway, you are plenty colourful to me and other people, so chin up and keep working towards your dreams!

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  2. Hey there, your line about being tired and weary yet having to still remain alert and chirpy at work resonates with me. I’m currently undergoing this switch in terms of roles at work. It is quite a drastic change from my earlier job, but I used to think I will get this new job down pat and excel in it. I was pretty confident since it was my forte (or so I thought). Now that when I’m really in the thick of things, I realised how inadequate I am. Everyone is telling me that I’m still new to it and this is part of the learning curve. But somehow I’m really just dissapointed at my performance so far. So even when I’m feeling down and demoralized, I still must appear to be strong, resilient and upbeat to all. And that really tires me out. =(

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  3. Hey Joy, don’t feel down. I read about the change in your job on your blog. Your colleagues are right, you do need time to adapt to these new duties so cut yourself some slack. 🙂

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