I was feeling pretty blue today. It’s very counterproductive but i have a penchant for listening to sad songs when I am feeling down. Silly, isn’t it?
And then my friend J came online and we were nattering about nothing in general when I started having a moan about how, at 30, I still have no idea what I wanted to do in life. I don’t fit well in the corporate world, I don’t have a desire to climb the ambition ladder and I feel out of place in the rat race. Whine whine whine.
Honey, he said, I’ll be 60 and still not know what I am doing with my life.
Fair enough. Maybe I should teach, I replied, I’ll make a pretty damn good teacher.
His reply? Yes, you would. Also, you remind me very much of a colleague. Every time she walks by, I swear you can hear the boys (insert verb) in their pants. You would totally drive them nuts.
I burst out laughing.
(J is a lecturer at one of the local universities.)
Then later in the afternoon, the Ben & Jerry’s team came by our office to bring us tiny tubs of their divine new ice-cream flavor, Cluster Fluff. (One colleague heard it as Cluster F**k. Advertising people.) As my boss and I oohed and ahhed over the ice-cream, a COW popped up from out of nowhere. Like, an actual man in a cow suit. A COW!
Boss and I started laughing hysterically because the darn cow looked absolutely ridiculous. And then, what do you know, the cow plonked himself in front of me and started gyrating madly. Bloody mad cow! He was also performing some sort of hip thrusts a la Saturday Night Fever and it was just really disturbingly hilarious. We couldn’t stop giggling even after the poor cow walked away. It was one of those things where it’s so horrifying that it’s funny.
And then my boss said, The cow was totally coming on to Yann!
Ain’t that just lovely.
Am so beautiful and attractive that I would attract young pubescent boys and COWS.
Am totally going for Botox at 40.
Have I ever mentioned that when I was 26, I saw an aesthetic doctor/quack? I was in his consultation room when I saw a poster for Botox and JOKED that I would probably need that in 20 years. Dr Quack said in all seriousness, No need 20 years, 10 can already.
Am Fabulously Gorgeous!!
(Insert gratuitous, Photoshopped picture of my very sizzling hot self. Love Photoshop.)
Fab photography and Photoshop skills courtesy of Eadwine.