Two of Us

No one ring to rule me

I have bad luck with rings.
It’s so bad that if I were a ring, I would run away screaming when faced with me.

See, I like my fingers nice and bare. Rings feel strange and out of place on my hands. So I do things like take them off before I wash my hands, when I am typing, when I am cooking. Combine that with my leaky memory, I tend to err leave them behind.

How do I scare away the rings? Let me count the ways.

V sweet, Mr Thick bought it for me when I became his girlfriend. That, however, had the most unfortunate end of all the rings.

It got FLUSHED DOWN the toilet bowl.

Uhhmm. The story that I told him was that it was loose and fell into the toilet bowl. And before I knew it, the automatic flush kicked in and it literally went down the drain.

Well. The truth was, I was sitting on the throne and doing my big business. At the same time, I was playing with my ring, a bad habit that I haven’t been able to get rid of after all these years. So there I was huffing and puffing away, and twiddling my ring at the same time and oops! It dropped into the bowl.

Aghast, I stood up and stared down at the bowl. Damn. Should I retrieve my ring? But that’s gross! Before I could continue with my murky thoughts, the automatic flush kicked in! BYE BYE RING!

(I was secretly relieved.)

Poor Mr Thick, he even bought me a replacement ring. Let’s find out what happened to the replacement.

I hate having my ring on when I am in the gym so I had it off. After the shower, I grabbed my stuff from the locker and plonked myself down at the mirror and started drying my hair, my precious ring sitting on the countertop.

I dried my hair, preened in front of the mirror and then flounced off. Without my ring.

By the time I remembered, I rushed back to the locker room and it was gone.

Bye bye ring!

Now, this is the biggie that we are talking about: my wedding band. This time, I was at the Tampines gym with husband. I had taken the ring off before our RPM class and set it down in the locker. And just as before, I dried my hair, preened in front of the mirror and flounced off, leaving my ring behind in the locker.

I went outside to the lounge and had a drink with husband. But there was a niggling thought at the back of my mind. Hmm. As my fingers automatically sought for my ring to fiddle with it, I realised that AH HA! My ring! Thank goodness it was a Sunday and nobody had taken the locker after I had vacated it.


And we lived happily ever after.

This is why I don't wear my engagement ring