The organised chaos

Leaving scars

So yesterday, boss and I ended up holding hands with tears in our eyes.

No no, neither of us were fired or anything like that. We still have our jobs although sometimes, I do wonder if the constant grief that we encounter on a regular basis is worth our effort.

The boss had received some bad news in the family in the morning. The waters of her pregnant sister-in-law, wife to her younger brother, broke and as they were preparing to rush to the hospital, the baby started descending. That would have been fine except that baby was in breech position. I don’t know the details but ultimately, baby came into the world a stillborn. What made it worse was that her sister-in-law had just seen her obstetrician the day before, who told her she was fine and to just wait and see what happens, despite baby being in breech.

Needless to say, the entire family is in shock and grief, including boss, who is a mother of three. She flew home on the same day, her eyes red-rimmed with tearful sorrow.

No matter how advanced science and medicine gets, childbirth is still one of the greatest mysteries of Mankind. Some couples like us struggle so fucking hard just to conceive, some lose their babies to unknown causes. You would think that after all these years of progress, the art of making and keeping babies would be fine-tuned to perfection but no, tragedies still happen on a daily basis, even in developed countries like ours.

And so we held hands and cried a little, for each other’s grief. For the pain of those who have to climb mountains and walk through fire just to buy a hope that may or may not materialize. For the pain of those who have lost little ones.

Before she left, we hugged and whispered I’m so sorry to each other.

I’m so sorry that somewhere in this world, someone’s baby is born to death.
I’m so sorry that for every person who is cradling a baby tenderly, there is someone else crying because she doesn’t have that.
I’m so sorry for parents who have to bury their children in the cold, damp earth.
I’m so sorry that not everyone gets their happily ever after.

Ceiling lights

6 thoughts on “Leaving scars”

  1. Very touching post. đŸ˜¥

    Totally agree with you. Which reminds me of a quote I read from Tina Fey recently, that went to the effect of conceiving naturally/ natural childbirth being one of the most underrated events, ever.


  2. I’m so sorry to hear about the stillbirth. It’s a fear that crosses my mind as well and I think it’s really one of the worst things in life that can happen to anyone. That months of anticipation, excitement, joy and gratitude (at being blessed with a pregnancy) ends in a void. The sorrow and pain is truly incomprehensible. Dan casually enquired after an ex-classmate’s kids once after seeing photos of her pregnancy on Facebook, only to have her answer, “It was a stillborn.” We really didn’t know what to say except “I’m sorry.” Sigh.


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