Bun in oven, Letters to

Expect the expected

Dear Tiny Human,

Boy oh boy have you gone and turned my life upside down!

Not a day goes by without your Dad asking me how I am and me replying nauseous and tired. The funny thing is, I haven’t been sleeping well for the past three nights. I’d lie in bed all exhausted and then my brains are still going whrrrrrrr. I think my poor body is in overdrive because of all the changes that have been happening.

I mean, I am growing a tiny human (AKA you) in me. How beautifully bizarre is that?

Plus, I haven’t hit the gym since we first stepped into Dr Y’s clinic for the blood test and I feel like a lethargic, fat slug. My appetite’s shot and we subsist on what my gut tells me to eat. Some nights, it’s fish and then there was that one evening when I decided we would have pasta and so I made pasta. It’s pretty fun, actually, like a lottery of sorts.

Both your Dad and I have decided that we are not going to tell anyone about you until we’ve cleared the first trimester. I think being infertility veterans has made us very, very cautious and we just want to make sure that everything is stable before we stir the village with the news.

You see, you are a very precious child. We have been trying ways and means for the past two years to conceive and all of a sudden, you came along and made us both go speechless. And, I assure you, I am HARDLY speechless (just ask your Dad, our verbal ratio is like 500:7 or something as absurd as that). I mean, I was all prepared to go through another round of IVF in October!

But me being me, I can’t survive without telling someone. I bloody need some emotional support! (No, your Dad doesn’t count because he is a man and yes, the word bloody is forbidden to you). And who better to share the news with than my friend the Queen of the Prairie (that’s Aunty Denise to you). She’s been through my entire infertility journey with me, from the very first IUI to the ill-fated IVF. I text her all my worries and she tells me to stop Googling. She calls you “Little Roe” (because we call each other fishy, never mind) and tells me that she will love you very, very much.

Tomorrow, I’ll get to see you again and hopefully we can see your little heart pumping away. Fingers crossed. Exactly 6w tomorrow.

I love Fridays more and more. 🙂

Love you already,