Bun in oven, Health Goddess

When darkness came

It hit me like a tonne of bricks from out of nowhere.
One moment I was smiling at a photo of the utterly unglamorous Emi Kat that husband had sent, the next moment my stomach was clenching and trying desperately not to hurl.  
Tanah Merah, the announcement said.  
I closed my eyes and willed my chirlish stomach to behave.  
Breathe, just breathe in, relax.  
The bile continued to rise.  
Come on, breathe in, breathe out, relax.  
I opened my eyes and was startled to see that the world had turned darker, and my vision was as grainy as an old analogue TV set.  
I closed my eyes again to block out that sight.  
It’s going to be okay. Breathe in, breathe out, relax. Shit. What do I do? Should I get off the train? I don’t think I can make it out without collapsing. Okay, let’s stay on the train, keep breathing, it’s gonna pass.  
The music playing in my ears grew faint.  
Suddenly, I couldn’t hear anything at all.  
Damn it.  
I pulled the earphones out and tossed them back into the bag.  
I didn’t want the reminder that I was blacking out.  
Damn it, I am not going to black out.  
Kembangan, the robotic female voice announced.  
I opened my eyes.  
Everything was pitch black.  
Shit. Breathe in. Breathe out. What do people do what they are blacking out. Oh yes, they put their heads between their knees. Yes.  
I bent as much as my stomach and bag would allow, in my seat.  
C’mon, breathe in, breathe out. That’s right, keep breathing.  
I felt the sweat pouring down the sides of my face, slipping down my body, plastering my hair to the back of my neck.  
Just breathe. It will pass. Come on.  
Aljunied, the announcement rang out bossily.  
I sat up and forced my eyes open.  
The world was getting clearer.  
I dug into my bag and fumbled for my phone.  
He picked up on the third ring.  
Hi, don’t freak out but I almost fainted on the train…  
The growing uterus is shoving everything out of the way, the doctor explained, and this causes your blood circulation to be slower.  
It’s just a lack of oxygen supply.  
It’s one of those pregnancy things.  
It’s quite common.  
I know.  
I didn’t panic.  
I’m fine.  
I’m thankful that I had a seat on the train.  
But it’s yet another reminder that I’m sharing my body with the little man and I have to take it easy, even if I think I can charge full steam ahead.  
I can’t.  
I have to take better care of myself.  

9 thoughts on “When darkness came”

  1. “I have to take better care of myself.” > Pre-natal yoga, my dear friend. It will help you manage your lack of O2 better. If that’s not your cup of tea, any aerobic activity will help. Also, your HypnoBirthing exercises! Feel better, Y.


  2. Oh dear!

    The doc is right. I’ve had perfectly healthy friends black out during pregnancy. Nevertheless, take care, babe.

    Cute red sneakers. You’re not going to be able to do up those laces on your own soon though! Heh.


  3. glad you’re okay. you’re a brave gal to not panic. all those breathing helped, and you didn’t hyperventilate with all the correct pacing of breath.


  4. Dont worry about it. I think its pretty common – I had a fellow colleague who was preggers around the same time as me and she had a couple of the similar episodes during her train ride home from work, She even passed out and fell on the floor in the train but thankfully she was ok (she was standing!!). But do take care and find a seat on the train to sit – even when there’s none and those idiots are not giving up seats to you, go shove your bump rght in their faces and see how long they can avoid it. 🙂 Take care hun!


  5. u probably have low blood count. comfortable shoes and clothing is important. avoid crowded area. avoid standing too long. advisable to have a partner if u need to leave your house. tcm at raffles hospital may compliment your gynae. i’ve low haemoglobin and low blood preassure. i encountered 1 black out while queuing for food in hawker center. swollen foot after half day shopping. i’ve no other complications and delivered my 1st baby at the age of 25.


  6. that sounded so scary. Hope the people next to you on the train helped you out. perhaps it was too crowded as well. Glad you’re ok. Another reason that expectant mothers really need that seat.


  7. Thanks all for the concern. It hasn’t happened again and I hope it won’t. Phew.

    P – I have been exercising! 😦 Not as much as I should though. But yes, hypnobirthing came into practice here, thank goodness.

    Jolene – it’s really common, I know, but still scary when it hit. I really ought to be more thick-skinned and ask for a seat in future.

    Irene – thanks for the tips!


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