Aidan, Motherhood

4 weeks of life with Aidan

Dear Aidan,

And just like that, you have been here with us for a month. Well, make that five weeks actually, but mama here has been so exhausted that she hasn’t been able to sit at her computer and write to you.

In these past four weeks, you have turned our lives upside down. And I mean that literally. I’m up most nights making sure that your tiny tummy is filled with sustenance (AKA boob juice) while your Dad is in charge of clearing your output (ie. changing your – oddly enough – soy milk smelling diapers). We both look like zombies and our eye bags are bigger than our eyes.

We have also looked passionately into each other’s eyes and said, NO MORE CHILDREN.

That’s not to say that we don’t like you. On the contrary, we love you so much that if we could have a second heart, that heart would belong to you absolutely.

But looking after an infant is so, so hard. And it makes us frustrated and unhappy when we don’t know why you are screaming your head off for hours on end. And when you don’t sleep well, I get all personal about it, thinking that it is something I am not doing right. That’s stupid, of course, but that’s what being a mother does to you.

To be perfectly honest, I am not a fan of this infancy period. People tell me to treasure this period when you are so teeny tiny but all I want is to have a baby who can interact with me.

But – and that’s a mighty big but – I have to say that I adore many things about you at this stage. I love how your little body drapes across my chest as you nurse. I love those little sighs that you make when you are suckling away. I love how you grunt in frustration during tummy time (which you have expressed your displeasure towards, loud and clear). I love the cute little sounds that you make when you sleep in my arms. I love your gassy smiles. I love that funny, drunken milk face of yours. I love your little ‘eh eh eh’ sounds. I love those tiny mittens and socks of yours, which we are always losing.

Motherhood has been challenging for me but not a day goes by where I don’t love you. Okay, I may love you a little less when you are wailing away but it doesn’t mean I don’t love you.

I am so thankful that you are here and I know that it can only get better.

In the meantime, forgive us for being bumbling first-time parents and be gentle with us.

Love,
Mama

7 thoughts on “4 weeks of life with Aidan”

  1. Yes it definitely will get better! I have a 11 weeks old, and I feel u. Theres a lot of trial and error for me but I’ve kinda concluded that he is not sleeping well because Ive kept him awake for too long. Babies cannot be awake for more than 1- 2 hrs. Over stimulate them will result in an overly tired baby who could not sleep well, be it day or night. Now I try to put him in his swing or cot 1 hr after waking up, drowsy but awake. I use pacifier or swaddle him, making sure that it’s not hot for him, let him wear light clothings.

    It will definitely get better, trust me…. 🙂

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  2. Apparently, lots of babies complain about tummy time. And will you believe it, I’ve never heard of it until a friend complained about it on FB not so long ago. That means neither of my babies went through any official tummy time “program”. Now that I think about it, they didn’t spend much time on their tummies until they started to turn over. Oh wait… When they were fussy and not sleeping well, I’d let them sleep face down but I’ll hang around to make sure they’re ok. Yes, I know, it’s everything the experts say we shouldn’t do.

    But wait, it’s not considered tummy time if the baby is asleep, no? Aaaanyway, they’re both alive and normal, tummy time or not.

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  3. miss ene: It was the same shirt! We bought the same tees from Threadless specifically for this party. Hee.

    JC: thanks for commenting! I’ve tried putting him down 1-2 hours after he wakes up but he still doesn’t fall asleep. And if I leave him awake but drowsy, he’ll yell after a while. Tsk.

    pleasure monger: no lah. Look at that bad hair and eye bags!

    zigzagza: Yah I have been lazy with tummy time too. Never mind lah. And I want to try putting A to sleep on his tummy too! But he just squawks when I do that.

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  4. Barry hated tummy time. He barely succeeded in lifting up his head. Even after he managed to flip, he would fall flat on his face. Ha. But developmentally wise, well, he was walking around like a pro on his 1st birthday. Aidan is very adorable and you don’t look like you’ve been recently pregnant!

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