Motherhood

Normal transmission resumes

Thank you for your kind words in the previous post.

I went through days when the urge to sob uncontrollably would surface every so often. Really, I felt like something was broken in me. I was all prepared to seek professional help, believing that I was suffering from post-partum depression.

Oh no, it wasn’t as bad as what many women went through. I wasn’t suicidal, I didn’t stop loving my son. All I needed throughout the day were little breaks. I would walk away from Aidan, sit down and take a deep breath. When I felt more in control, I would go back to caring for him. And that was how I got through most days. At the same time, I was trying to come to a decision regarding Aidan’s caregiving after my maternity leave ends. I had made a choice that made financial and practical sense but left me unhappy. That contributed to the frustration I was feeling.

But it’s okay. I’m okay. I’m back to being me again. Of course, Mr A’s daytime sleep is still as crappy as ever and it is hugely annoying when he wakes up 10, 30 minutes after I put him down. Oh I have tried everything: drawn curtains, swaddle, white noise, rocker, AC, fan, cot, bed etc. Nothing works. I am pretty convinced that this boy is just not into napping. Gah.

But when this face gazes up at me, how can I stay down?

I kept the parentals up the whole night? Huzzah!!

You guys rock. Thank you.

6 thoughts on “Normal transmission resumes”

  1. Yay! But I still think you need to get out every day and/or join a mothers’ group. It’ll keep the frustration at bay.

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  2. Big hugs babe! Sorting out care arrangements and balancing work is tough; it gave me lots of frustration too. Motherhood is sure not easy but definitely rewarding 🙂

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  3. Hi,

    My son is also a super light sleeper like me and now he is addicted to me rocking him to sleep and to pacify his cries, once i put him on the bed, his eyes open again. When in my arms, he can sleep for 2-3 hours. Is super tiring. I have not try this before, maybe you can get those sarong sling and the baby on to you and turn on the air con in your house so that he wont feel so hot during the day and you can be hands-free and do your own things.

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  4. It’s great to hear from you, finally! Since your last post, I was refreshing your blog few times a day, hoping to hear from you to see if you were coping and certainly didnt feel good to “see” silence on your blog. Glad you are feeling better now!

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  5. Hugs. I can’t even imagine how hard it must be. Even though I don’t always comment, I love how you always speak from the heart.

    And I always look out for new pics. He is such a handsome baby boy 🙂 And growing so fast I can’t believe it. Why is time flying?

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