Health Goddess

Pregnancy: the new cure-all

Note: the following contains language pertaining to female plumbing and my womanly health so scoot off if you feel squeamish about reading such stuff.

It has come to my attention that pregnancy is the cure to many of the common woes that plague women.

To my great sadness and extreme irritation, my period went back to work the same week as I did. If I choose to look at the glass half full, I can say that my body is SO in sync with my schedule. Yay. However, since I have been told that I whine quite a bit on the blog, I might as well go the whole hog.

WHY DO I HAVE MY PERIOD WHEN I AM BREASTFEEDING?!

It’s not fair! I mean, I faithfully offer my boob juice to Mr A straight from the tap in the middle of the night almost EVERY. SINGLE. NIGHT. since he was born! AND STILL THE PERIOD ARRIVES. What the eff-ing eff. Some women don’t even get their periods and OOPS, PREGNANT AGAIN (yes, Squirt, I am looking at you).

BUT. I have to say that my cycle has never been more predictable. In the first month, I could actually feel myself ovulating. Those ovaries of mine were bitching like crazy about producing eggs for the first time in 13 months. A couple of weeks later, I told my IVF support group of girlfriends over our WhatsApp group chat that I knew my period was arriving soon because the vajayjay was bitching like crazy about working again so soon after trying to squeeze a baby out.

It promptly came the next day.

Exactly 27 days later, I fell asleep while watching Project Runway at 930pm. I typically DO NOT doze off at 930pm (discounting those times when I am ill) and I have NEVER fallen asleep while watching Project Runway.

My period arrived promptly the next day.

I have NEVER been a textbook 28-day cycle girl, not even after my laparoscopy. And look at me now! I am actually ovulating! (I think.)

PREGNANCY IS THE CURE TO INFERTILITY!

Okay, I’m being sarcastic. You got that, right? Right? The irony is not lost upon me, really.

But seriously, it appears that pregnancy is also the cure for acne. I used to have really shitty skin and it was so bad that my ex-boyfriend would make insensitive comments about it. It was only in recent years, when I started working and had money to see a dermatologist, that it cleared up and looked a wee bit better. But I continued looking like the middle of the Kuwaiti oil field come noon and required loads of blotting paper for my nose to stop shining like a beacon.

Oh wait. No wonder I was such a bad driver. I WUZ BLINDED BY MY OWN NOSE!

Anyway, a gay colleague told me recently that I am glowing and that my skin is so much clearer now that it had been during pregnancy. Apparently, I had “bad breakouts” and looked “drab” then.

As bitchy as he is, I have to admit that his comment is half true. The glowing half, that is. Because now, my skin almost seems radiant and the oil field has been replaced by the Sahara desert! I actually need to use moisturizer under my sun block in the mornings.

MIRACLE!

Forget about those expensive laser treatments, BOTOX and SKII products, just get yourself KNOCKED UP for clear and radiant skin. [boing boing]

12 thoughts on “Pregnancy: the new cure-all”

  1. I think we were the few lucky ones where pregnancy was kind to us. I never had to use moisturiser too until I was pregnant and breastfeeding. Sorry to report, babe, that the blotters came right out again once I weaned the bub off the boob. Hopefully it won’t be the same for you when you stop!

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  2. Hi Yann,
    Can i sidetrack here abit? Just wondering if your boy is still using Moo Moo Koo Diapers? Is it still suitable, now that he’s growing bigger? How’s the laundry aspect? Alot of washing to do? Troublesome? Hope to get your feedback on this! πŸ˜›

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  3. Hi5! My skin got better each time I was pregnant, and even better when I was breastfeeding my kiddos! I had to switch my skin care products from those for oily skin to those for dehydrated skin. Was soaking up my intensive hydrating serum and moisturiser, and still my skin was dehydrated! Sad to say, my skin sort of went back to normal (I.e. oily!) after I stopped breastfeeding. Not as oily as pre-pregnancy days, but definitely more oily than when I was still nursing. Hope it turns out differently for u! Fortunately, for both my kiddos, my periods only came back 2 months after I stop breastfeeding. I absolutely miss those period-free days!

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  4. Have to agree with you on the ovulating part. Although, I didn’t go through IVF, I had to take jabs just to trigger ovulation. And then loh and behold, after popping … I can feel myself ovulating every month. Such terrible irony !!!!

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  5. Genie: Yes he is. It’s a one-size diaper so it’s meant to grow with the baby. Laundry is okay, I only wash once every two days and throw everything into the machine.

    Jean: Apparently the skin does not stay! I may go back to looking like an oil field.

    lilsnooze: YAY THANKS!!

    Nat: Heh heh. πŸ˜‰

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  6. I can see why your gay colleague said you are glowing πŸ™‚ You look really great in that picture… my period came back at the end of my breastfeeding journey after 2+ years. Thank goodness because I really hate having my period. At least I got to “enjoy” 2 years off it and save some money on pads too hahaha

    Ai @ Sakura Haruka

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  7. Eunice: oilier than before? Alamak! Time to stock up on blotters.

    Ann: Poetic irony. Tsk. Who knew, right.

    Haifang: Thank you very much! πŸ™‚

    Ai: Two years is so good. You are so lucky! And thank you. πŸ˜‰ Having a baby makes me very happy!

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