Aidan, Motherhood

While you were sleeping

The past few weeks have been really, really tough.

Oddly enough, the little man refused to let daddy put him to bed. All he wanted was MAMA. Never mind that Mr Thick has been the one getting him to sleep all this while, he’d cry buckets until I step into the room and pull him into my arms.

Magically, all that drama and fussiness disappeared the moment we went back to work and to our normal routine. I am guessing that the two weeks we had spent together, 24/7, had exacerbated what little separation anxiety he had.

The multiple wakings, however, still persist, and we find ourselves soothing him every other hour.

And so, I found myself nursing him in his room, cradling his little body and willing him to calm down.

Will he remember that I snuggled with him close to my chest?
Will he remember that I had rained kisses upon his forehead?
Will he remember that I had stroked his head?
Will he remember that I was the one to ease his discomfort?
Will he remember that I was all that he needed when he was crying in the dark?

Probably not.

But in those moments, I remember that he won’t be so little anymore. I remember that he won’t be needing me to comfort him in the night soon. I remember that he will not be a baby for long.

And so I continue to hold him tightly by the light of the moon.

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I have decided that I will continue writing on this space. Plain and simple, I write because I love to. I love the little community that I have here. The little man will continue to feature here but the potentially sensitive and more intimate/personal posts will probably be locked.

In the meantime, I have started using the Day One app to record down moments and memories that are dear to me. It’s a gorgeous app and I have Lucian to thank for the recommendation.