Aidan, Motherhood

While you were sleeping

The past few weeks have been really, really tough.

Oddly enough, the little man refused to let daddy put him to bed. All he wanted was MAMA. Never mind that Mr Thick has been the one getting him to sleep all this while, he’d cry buckets until I step into the room and pull him into my arms.

Magically, all that drama and fussiness disappeared the moment we went back to work and to our normal routine. I am guessing that the two weeks we had spent together, 24/7, had exacerbated what little separation anxiety he had.

The multiple wakings, however, still persist, and we find ourselves soothing him every other hour.

And so, I found myself nursing him in his room, cradling his little body and willing him to calm down.

Will he remember that I snuggled with him close to my chest?
Will he remember that I had rained kisses upon his forehead?
Will he remember that I had stroked his head?
Will he remember that I was the one to ease his discomfort?
Will he remember that I was all that he needed when he was crying in the dark?

Probably not.

But in those moments, I remember that he won’t be so little anymore. I remember that he won’t be needing me to comfort him in the night soon. I remember that he will not be a baby for long.

And so I continue to hold him tightly by the light of the moon.

**********

I have decided that I will continue writing on this space. Plain and simple, I write because I love to. I love the little community that I have here. The little man will continue to feature here but the potentially sensitive and more intimate/personal posts will probably be locked.

In the meantime, I have started using the Day One app to record down moments and memories that are dear to me. It’s a gorgeous app and I have Lucian to thank for the recommendation.

5 thoughts on “While you were sleeping”

  1. Awww. I teared a little reading this post. Thought about Anders and his separation anxiety issues, and the sleepless nights. Hang in there babe! And like you said, they would not be so little anymore, and we might actually miss the times we get to spend with them exclusively.

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  2. Noey has never been a good sleeper. (That’s why he’s still in my bed and I’m trying to kick him out. Hur hur.) So I don’t have any advice, seeing as I don’t have any good solutions, but I’m here to offer encouragement that it WILL get better. I can’t remember when Noey truly stopped waking and slept through the night, but it HAPPENED. And all the time he’s spent needing me when he sleeps, has translated to a little boy who is super attached to his mummy. And even though I might complain about the stickiness, I’m glad he loves me so much 🙂 Big hugs!

    Btw, if you do lock up, please keep me! I love your entries!

    I’ve started using Day One recently too btw, and I love it!

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  3. Things DID get better for me for a while but now i am going through the same phase of multiple wakings and fussiness. I also do remind myself that I won’t get to cuddle her like this for that many years more. That has been keeping me sane!

    Glad you decided to continue writing 🙂

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  4. I recalled Min was sticky (still is!) and woke multiple times (still does, unless she sleeps with me, in plushy hotel bed no less) since….forever. There’s no explanation for this and I look at Nat, who is more independent and I think..just a few more years of this and it will be over. 😉

    Thanks for recc on Day One, I just bought it and trying it out. It’s fab!

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