Two of Us


The husband mistook my frantic SOS waves to the baby monitor for a, oh I don’t know, friendly gesture.

The only friendly gesture that I want to show him is one involving a certain finger.

End of story, because I was lying in the dark for an hour with our clingy, koala of a child, shivering in my outfit of nursing tank and shorts. I would have totally gone to sleep with said child – whose arms were tightly wound around my neck and whose entire body was on top of mine – except for the fact that I hadn’t showered and was feeling pretty funky. Also, I needed to empty my bladder. Like now.

Okay, end of end of story. For real this time.

Good thing the child is cute.