So. I usually shower with the kid during weekdays. Just so I can save some time. (If you are all judgy, go away. NAO.) I’d plonk him in his bath, he would entertain himself with his bath toys while I wash my hair. Win-win.
Recently, he’s taken to lounging in his bath. I kid you not. He would shuffle his tiny bum to the perfect spot where his legs can stretch out comfortably and his head can lean back onto the tub.
And then he would give me this HEY MA, I’M SO CHILLING HERE look. That expression is priceless, I tell you.
Clearly, this kid is MINE. I love tubs. I love soaking in super hot tubs when we go on holiday and the little man must have retained the image of me relaxing in the tub when we were in Penang.
Because he is doing the exact same thing as I always do.
Anyway, there he was, chilling in the tub while I was shampooing my hair. I turned to keep my eye on him and was laughing to myself at the way he was all stretched out when I saw IT.
The perfect golden arc of pee.
It rose magnificently into the air before curving down. BACK INTO THE DAMN TUB!
Meanwhile, the kid was observing this sight with an amazed, OH MY DID YOU SEE THAT? look on his face. He was bathing in pee water and he had NO CLUE. In fact, he looked positively gleeful.
I did what any mother would have done. Shouted AIDAN!, fished him and his gazillion bath toys out of the tub and then rinsed clean water over them. He was a bit upset – and rightly so – and kept knocking on the tub, saying DIS! DIS! but there was no way I was going to put him back in.
And then I wondered, holy crap, how many times has he peed in the tub without me noticing?
After I related the story to husband, he said, “Well, it’s a good thing I always rinse him after taking him out of the tub.”
He looked at me incredulously, and said, “You do that, don’t you?”
I justified my actions (or the lack of) with the reason that pee is sterile.
Until I googled and realised that pee, for crying out loud, is NOT BLOODY STERILE.
Somebody hand me that Mum of The Year award?