Bun in oven, Letters to


Dear Number Two,

How are you? How’s life in mama’s cosy, watery womb?

While I haven’t been updating the world about your every move and every flutter, I don’t want you to think that it’s because I love you any lesser. We have had moments, you and me and papa and gor gor, but I just never got round to penning these moments down.

Let’s talk about this afternoon. It had been an exhausting day for me, having sat through four hours of assessments. I was this close to putting my head down to sleep but I had work to do. As I was powering through my slides, you started reminding me of your presence.

You started bubbling away in my belly, first here then there. And it was so adorable. You are at the stage (20 weeks) where you flutter around oh so gently, because you are still teeny tiny. And as you pop around under my skin, I started tapping on the belly and you would respond.

It was a good moment.

Just the other morning, your papa and Aidan were snoozing in the other bedroom. It was just me and you on that big bed of ours. The morning was cool and there was a gentle breeze. The sun was slowly rising over the horizon and the day was blissfully still.

I laid on the bed, saying nothing, doing nothing. And then you went POP! Before I knew it, there was a trail of “bubbles” running across the belly. I smiled and said hi to you, and you continued fluttering for a while.

And then the door opened and your brother burst into the room with loud pitter-patters, and the moment ended.

It was a good moment.

And then, there was the other night. Papa and I were trying to put Aidan to bed. That boy, he loves, LOVES to kiss you. At ever opportunity that he has, he will ask to “kiss mama baby”. It was exactly like that, that night.

I was lying down on his bed and he asked to kiss my tummy. I said, yes please and he obliged with a MMMMM-MUAH. Only this time, he kept going at it, kissing and giggling at my belly. Papa and I laughed at his gleeful smile, and there was so much love and happiness enveloping the room.

It was a beautiful moment.

Right now, I am relishing this: the feeling of you in my tummy, carrying you everywhere with me. I daresay this is something that all mothers love and miss the most. (Also, the baby is here but not throwing tantrums! Or pooping at the wrong time! Or crying incessantly!)

We are at the halfway mark, Two. Hang in there, we still have just a little bit more to go.

Love you always,

Bun in oven

Musings about Two

So, I’ve unlocked some of my previously-private posts on Number Two, if anyone is remotely interested in reading.

Unlike the first pregnancy, I have not been writing much. Partly because I was absolutely gutted by the first trimester twin terrors of morning sickness and exhaustion, and also partly because I have had my hands full at work.

While the horrible, sick feeling of nausea has mostly abated, I still get the occasional heave ho. Which is incredibly awful, considering that I am already in week 17 (or is it 18? Can’t recall. Maybe 19?).

Anyway, Two. My beautiful in-utero baby. My second chance to experience a “normal” pregnancy – less Dead Baby Thoughts, less paranoia, more joyful tears.

I love you already.

Unlocked posts: What’s that they say?, Same same but different, Oh bile!, Hey you! Yes you!.


22 months of Aidan

Dear Aidan,

Exactly 22 months ago, you were born. And in the past 22 months, our lives have changed irrevocably.

The you of today have grown so much since that moment when you were born and your father exclaimed to me, “Dear, he has a lot of hair!” And being part of this transformation has been such a privilege, joy and amusement. Okay, it hasn’t been all unicorns and rainbows, to be honest, and you can be quite the PITA but in general, you are an exuberant, happy little man. There’s never a dull moment with you around.

I don’t know how much of it is nurture and how much of it is nature but you are one of the chattiest little persons I have ever known. You say the darnest things and you are a parrot that’s soaking up every word we utter. Just today, you heard papa’s GPS instructing us to turn left ahead and you started repeating in the car, “Turn left. Turn left. Turn left.” We gave each other THE LOOK and told you you were like some faulty GPS that just wouldn’t shut up. And then we started laughing.

Oh, the words that you say! I wish I could record every single funny thing you utter. The way you ask us “any train?” when we drive near the MRT tracks. The way you shout “AIRPLANE KAI!” when you spot an aeroplane up in the sky. The way you cheekily request for “col-gurd” (yogurt) and “pu tao” (grapes). The way you demand for “MUSIC!” no matter where we go and what we do. The way you bossily tell me to “keep shoe” when you would rather wear your “BOOT!” (wellingtons).

(Yes, you really talk with exclamation marks.)

One of the things that I love about you is how affectionate you are. You dole out kisses to mama and papa willingly and you LOVE to hug us. We can always count on you to run towards us to bury your head in our legs.

I told you once before that “mama’s baby” is in my tummy. And from that day on, you would come to me and say, “Kiss mama baby” every single day, before planting a loud and wet “mmmmmmm-muah” kiss on my swelling belly. You have no idea how much that makes my heart melt, my darling manja boy. Your father says that you will be a good older brother to the littlest and I’m pretty sure he is right.

Right now, I am relishing in our little unit of three. I know that you won’t remember this period, the first two years before your sibling arrived, when it was just you, me and papa. But we will know and remember.

Right now, the three of us are as tight as thieves. We do almost everything together – we go for walks at the beach, we muck around at the park, we dig into our prata, we explore new cities, and we dance to Christmas carols before dinner. And I am loving the times we spent together.

Don’t get me wrong, I am super excited that you are going to have a little brother or sister to boss around soon (and we KNOW you will boss him/her around). But right now, I am loving every moment spent with you, my firstborn.

There are two more months to your birthday and we have no clue how we are going to celebrate. Perhaps a quiet one, just the three of us.

Just the three of us. Let’s enjoy that for just a little more.


Love you to the moon and back,