Waiting for my littlest

Dear Two,

And just like that, we are into the last stretch. In less than 12 weeks, we should finally lay eyes on each other for the first time. And I cannot wait.

Right now, I’m entering the phase where everything is starting to be quite uncomfortable. I’m lumbering around, I can’t take deep breaths, my stomach has been displaced and I can no longer tolerate heavy meals, walking can be painful sometimes etc.

But you know what? I’m the odd sort who really enjoys pregnancy, I do. I love the connection that I have with my unborn child – you – and the fact that this is something that can never be replicated. For these past 28 weeks, you have been a part of me and I am all that you know. And that’s an experience that I can never relive again. I want to make sure that every moment is lived positively and not wasted on whinging about how tough it is, especially since you are going to be my second and last baby. I only have 12 more weeks to go and already that fact is making me a little sad.

So I’m relishing in every ticklish wriggle, every cute little hiccup, every odd sensation. I laugh when I HAVE. TO. GO. PEE. NAO. because I know that you have somehow moved your little ass (or head, I wouldn’t know, really) on top of my bladder. I smile when it’s just you and me in the dark of the night or the cool of the morning. I feel your limbs poking out of me and I can’t help but poke back at you. I think about the moment when I will finally get to see you in real life, and whether it will be as surreal as it was when I met your brother for the first time. I love it when I read the “big brother” books to Aidan and he lifts my shirt up to “kiss baby”.

You are so loved, my littlest, so loved.

The other night, your papa and I were lying together on the bed. I was playing the Hypnobirthing affirmations and relaxation tracks out on the speakers and you were merrily bouncing away. I told your papa to put his hand on my tummy to feel your movements and you, my darling, obliged. (Your brother NEVER did, he would stop whenever he felt papa’s hand and then perform his tricks again once papa moved the hand away. He’s still as cheeky today.)

And so we laid there, his hand on my tummy, large and warm and secure and comforting. You delivered few wriggles and kicks, now and then. And we fell asleep like that, in a hypnotic haze of exhaustion and love.

12 more weeks. Stay inside me for as long as you can, my little one. And then you will be coming home with us.

Love you to the moon and back (yes, you too),
mama