Dear New Year,
I didn’t do a 2010 review because, like one of my favourite songs say, I didn’t want to look back and regret.
Truth be told, the past year was all about chasing a dream and sometimes, I got terribly lost. But throughout it all, I never failed to see that I am also very blessed. If anything, this year has shown me how loved I am. When I needed some encouragement, my dear friend the former Apprentice Housewife (she’s in search of a new identity, any suggestions?) sat down for tea with me and ooh-ed and ahh-ed at the right places when I told her my stories. My sisters took me out to dinner and regaled me with funny tales of the nephews. My love gave me his unconditional love, even at times when I was most unloveable.
Honestly, I know myself well and I know that there have been times when I dwelled on the negativity of it all instead of focusing on the good. I always wonder about a better life when the life that I should lead fully is right here and right now. I think about what should be, what could have been, instead of creating my own joy in the now.
So 2011, even though I have never believed in making resolutions, I am making a steadfast promise: that I will stop living in the make-believe world and start embracing the now. I am also looking forward to turning 30 in just 11 days’ time – before I hit 21, I was a child. My 20s was all about discovering my own identity and believing in myself. And 30s? Well, who knows what these glorious years will bring?
Please be gentle with me, I have high hopes for you. I can’t wait to fall in love with you.
(PS I was all prepared to hate this song but I just…couldn’t. Don’t we all want to believe that there’s something in us and that our lives are not dead ends? Also, I happen to adore fireworks.)