It hit me like a tonne of bricks from out of nowhere.
One moment I was smiling at a photo of the utterly unglamorous Emi Kat that husband had sent, the next moment my stomach was clenching and trying desperately not to hurl.
Tanah Merah, the announcement said.
I closed my eyes and willed my chirlish stomach to behave.
Breathe, just breathe in, relax.
The bile continued to rise.
Come on, breathe in, breathe out, relax.
I opened my eyes and was startled to see that the world had turned darker, and my vision was as grainy as an old analogue TV set.
Shit.
I closed my eyes again to block out that sight.
It’s going to be okay. Breathe in, breathe out, relax. Shit. What do I do? Should I get off the train? I don’t think I can make it out without collapsing. Okay, let’s stay on the train, keep breathing, it’s gonna pass.
The music playing in my ears grew faint.
Suddenly, I couldn’t hear anything at all.
Damn it.
I pulled the earphones out and tossed them back into the bag.
I didn’t want the reminder that I was blacking out.
Damn it, I am not going to black out.
Kembangan, the robotic female voice announced.
I opened my eyes.
Everything was pitch black.
Shit. Breathe in. Breathe out. What do people do what they are blacking out. Oh yes, they put their heads between their knees. Yes.
I bent as much as my stomach and bag would allow, in my seat.
C’mon, breathe in, breathe out. That’s right, keep breathing.
I felt the sweat pouring down the sides of my face, slipping down my body, plastering my hair to the back of my neck.
Just breathe. It will pass. Come on.
Aljunied, the announcement rang out bossily.
I sat up and forced my eyes open.
The world was getting clearer.
I dug into my bag and fumbled for my phone.
He picked up on the third ring.
Hi, don’t freak out but I almost fainted on the train…
***********************
The growing uterus is shoving everything out of the way, the doctor explained, and this causes your blood circulation to be slower.
It’s just a lack of oxygen supply.
It’s one of those pregnancy things.
It’s quite common.
I know.
I didn’t panic.
I’m fine.
I’m thankful that I had a seat on the train.
But it’s yet another reminder that I’m sharing my body with the little man and I have to take it easy, even if I think I can charge full steam ahead.
I can’t.
I have to take better care of myself.
Yannisms 